Fortune Cookies

[Disembodied]

Particularly twisted

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( Be careful of reading health books, you )
( might die of a misprint.                )
(                                         )
( -- Mark Twain                           )
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  o
   o
       ___  
     {~._.~}
      ( Y )
     ()~*~()   
     (_)-(_)  

It's not necessarily health books you have to worry about ... I used to work for a medical publisher, many years ago. A popular item with junior doctors was a little pocketbook with a wipe-clean plastic cover which told them what to do in most common situations ("ask a nurse", usually). A similar book, published by a competitor, had to be recalled and pulped because a decimal point in a dosage table was in the wrong place. Legend does not relate if this typo actually killed anyone ...

[Diziet Sma]

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The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that
will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
		-- Mark Twain

[CommRLock78]

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Beware of low-flying butterflies

And another that just popped up, slightly edited to fit the bulletins :

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/ Ships are safe in [stations], but they were \
\ never meant to stay there.              /
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[CommRLock78]

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/ You single-handedly fought your way \
\ into this hopeless mess.            /
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[Tricky]

To have an interesting life, stop choosing the default settings.

http://discordianquotes.com/

[CommRLock78]

To have an interesting life, stop choosing the default settings.

http://discordianquotes.com/

<Like>

Here's a particularly profound one from Samuel Clemens:

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( No group of professionals meets except )
( to conspire against the public at      )
( large.                                 )
(                                        )
( -- Mark Twain                          )
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[Walbrigg]

If Mark Twain said that, he was quoting Adam Smith.

[CommRLock78]

If Mark Twain said that, he was quoting Adam Smith.

Ah, Adam Smith, the Republicans' (U.S.) favorite person to quote, even though they haven't read a word of his. Still, a good quote all them same .

[Tricky]

14:51 GMT [dchat] Cratylus@Dead Souls Dev: cratiavellian lesson 2: Befriend the Resented. there's a reason they still have their job, and theyre not going to quit or die, and they will be loyal and grateful to you for your support

[Tricky]

Can we use quotes of our own? Here is one I posted over 4 years ago on another forum.

Genetics

Once upon a time there lived a species of creatures called Hooters. Hooters had evolved entirely within the darkened confines of a vast cave system hidden deep in the bowels of a mountain range. They'd had an easy life, feeling and smelling around the damp cave walls for the algae they so loved to eat, oozing between rocks and, at mating time, listening intently for the hoots of other Hooters. There were no predators in the caves, it was just the Hooters, the algae and the occasional friendly slug, so the Hooters never had anything to fear (except for maybe the occasional bad tempered Hooter). An underground river flowed through the cave system and water continuously dripped down through the water table bringing with it the fresh nutrients the algae thrived on so there was always plenty to eat and drink. However, although Hooters could feel and hear well they never had any need for eyes in the pitch blackness of the caves and as a result were totally blind. This never seemed to concern any of the Hooters though and they all had a whale of a time munching away and hooting in the darkness.

Then one day an earthquake caused part of the cave system to collapse and for the first time in many millennia the Hooters felt the warmth of sunlight upon their skin and the soft springiness of moss beneath their feet. A few daring Hooters tasted the moss and found that it was even better eating than the cave algae. "Ooooooooooh!" they hooted between mouthfuls of moss and promptly got gobbled up by the marauding eagles who had flown in to see what all the commotion was about.

For a while it looked as though the Hooters may be hunted to extinction, for although they liked to eat the moss they could never tell if an eagle was flying above. Not only that, they couldn't even tell if they were concealed beneath a rock or not unless it was low enough to reach for with their feelers. Every day many Hooters would stumble out from the caves with the sweet smell of moss in their nostrils only to be swiftly carried away and eaten by an eagle. Their situation seemed grim indeed.

Fortunately, over the years, the population of Hooters had grown to be enormous in the safety of the caves and enough of them were surviving to mate - after all, an eagle can only eat so much. One day, a brood of Hooters was born that shared a mutated skin cell gene. This particular gene was responsible for the development of the skin cells on their foreheads. During the development of the baby Hooters, when their skin cells grew from the mutated gene instructions they were slightly light sensitive. Each new baby Hooter could sense if something was blocking the light to its forehead or not. When these little baby Hooters grew up into bigger Hooters and ventured into the light to eat the moss they could tell if something was swooping overhead or not. So these Hooters grew up to have a slightly better chance of survival than their totally blind cousins. And because they had a better chance of survival, they reproduced much more, therefore passing the new light sensitive skin cell gene to their offspring. After a very short while the population became dominated by the Hooters with this slight advantage.

Now let's zip a few thousand generations into the future. If you extrapolate this process over very many years and involving lots of tiny mutations occurring in the skin cell genes it's easy to imagine a process where one light sensitive cell may become a clump of light sensitive cells, and then how the interior cells of the clump may mutate to harden into a tiny lens shaped area, which would help to gather the light and focus it into one place. It's not too difficult to envision a mutation that gives rise to two of these light gathering areas thereby bestowing binocular vision upon the Hooters. This would be a huge advantage over their Cyclopsian cousins as the Hooters would now be able to judge distances accurately and have a greater field of view.

As you can see the processes of natural selection - survival of the fittest - and gene mutation have very powerful roles to play in the evolution of an organism. But how does recombination fit into the scheme of things? Well to show you that I need to tell about some other Hooters...

At around the same time the Hooters with the light sensitive cells were frolicking around in the moss and teasing the eagles, another brood of Hooters had been born who shared a mutated gene that affected their hooter. This mutation gave rise to a slightly bigger hooter than their cousins, and because it was bigger they could now hoot over longer distances. This turned out to be useful in the rapidly diminishing population because the Hooters with the bigger hooters could call out to potential mates situated far away. Not only that but the female Hooters began to show a slight preference to males with larger hooters . The upshot of this of course was that the better endowed Hooters stood a much better chance of mating than any not so well off Hooters. Over a period of time, large hooters became prevalent in the population.

Then one fine day a female Hooter with the gene for light sensitive skin cells met a male Hooter with the gene for producing huge hooters. They fell in love, and shortly afterwards produced a brood of lovely baby Hooters. Now, because the babies chromosomes were a recombination of both parents chromosomes, some of the babies shared both the special genes and grew up not only to have light sensitive skin cells, but huge hooters too! These new offspring were extremely good at avoiding the eagles and reproducing so the process of evolution began to favour them and once again this new improved type of Hooter became dominant in the population.

And so on. And so on...

Genetic Algorithm Tutorial

[CommRLock78]

<Like> Nice one Tricky .

Oh yeah,

Can we use quotes of our own? Here is one I posted over 4 years ago on another forum.

Of course!! Especially good ones . If you think it's clever, whether from your Fortune™ teller or from your own brain, it really doesn't matter, as long as it entertains

[CommRLock78]

my my my!

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( Good day to deal with people in high )
( places; particularly lonely          )
( stewardesses.                        )
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[CommRLock78]

There are many ways to memorize π, including the use of "piems", which are poems that represent π in a way such that the length of each word (in letters) represents a digit. Here is an example of a piem, originally devised by Sir James Jeans:

How I want a drink, alcoholic of course, after the heavy lectures involving quantum mechanics.

The first word has three letters, the second word has one, the third has four, the fourth has one, the fifth has five, and so on.

[CommRLock78]

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( Your manuscript is both good and       )
( original, but the part that is good is )
( not original and the part that is      )
( original is not good.                  )
(                                        )
( -- Samuel Johnson                      )
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[CommRLock78]

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/ Someone is speaking well of you. \
|                                  |
\ How unusual!                     /
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   \
    \
        .--.
       |o_o |
       |:_/ |
      //   \ \
     (|     | )
    /'\_   _/`\
    \___)=(___/