Oolite Bulletins

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'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan.
Never odd or even.
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama.
Madam, I'm Adam.
Sit on a potato pan, Otis.
Sit on Otis.
                -- The Mad Palindromist

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( Q: How many members of the U.S.S.       )
( Enterprise does it take to change a     )
(                                         )
( light bulb? A: Seven. Scotty has to     )
( report to Captain Kirk that the light   )
( bulb in                                 )
(                                         )
( the Engineering Section is getting dim, )
( at which point Kirk will send           )
(                                         )
( Bones to pronounce the bulb dead        )
( (although he'll immediately claim       )
(                                         )
( that he's a doctor, not an              )
( electrician). Scotty, after checking    )
(                                         )
( around, realizes that they have no more )
( new light bulbs, and complains          )
(                                         )
( that he "canna" see in the dark. Kirk   )
( will make an emergency stop at          )
(                                         )
( the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula )
( IV, to procure a light bulb             )
(                                         )
( from the natives, who, are friendly,    )
( but seem to be hiding something.        )
(                                         )
( Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two )
( red shirt security officers             )
(                                         )
( beam down to the planet, where the two  )
( security officers are promply           )
(                                         )
( killed by the natives, and the rest of  )
( the landing party is captured.          )
(                                         )
( As something begins to develop between  )
( the Captain and Yeoman Rand,            )
(                                         )
( Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a )
( Klingon destroyer and must              )
(                                         )
( warp out of orbit. Although badly       )
( outgunned, he cripples the Klingon      )
(                                         )
( and races back to the planet in order   )
( to rescue Kirk et. al. who have         )
(                                         )
( just saved the natives' from an awful   )
( fate and, as a reward, been             )
(                                         )
( given all light bulbs they can carry.   )
( The new bulb is then inserted           )
(                                         )
( and the Enterprise continues on its     )
( five year mission.                      )
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( You see, I consider that a man's brain  )
( originally is like a little empty       )
( attic, and you have to stock it with    )
( such furniture as you choose. A fool    )
( takes in all the lumber of every sort   )
( he comes across, so that the knowledge  )
( which might be useful to him gets       )
( crowded out, or at best is jumbled up   )
( with a lot of other things, so that he  )
( has difficulty in laying his hands upon )
( it. Now the skilful workman is very     )
( careful indeed as to what he takes into )
( his brain-attic. He will have nothing   )
( but the tools which may help him in     )
( doing his work, but of these he has a   )
( large assortment, and all in the most   )
( perfect order. It is a mistake to think )
( that that little room has elastic walls )
( and can distend to any extent. Depend   )
( upon it there comes a time when for     )
( every addition of knowledge you forget  )
( something that you knew before. It is   )
( of the highest importance, therefore,   )
( not to have useless facts elbowing out  )
( the useful ones.                        )
(                                         )
( -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Study in  )
( Scarlet"                                )
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( Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. )
(                                    )
( -- Ashleigh Brilliant              )
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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
		-- Mark Twain

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( Wrinkles should merely indicate where )
( smiles have been.                     )
(                                       )
( -- Mark Twain                         )
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( Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and )
( other exciting things.                  )
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