Short Story : Herald's End.

drew · Post by **drew** » Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:46 pm

Enjoying!

I'm not bothered by the technicalities. I think 'active' shields are fine as if you switch them off they cease to be effective, as opposed to hull armour (passive in my book) which just 'is'.

Interesting character development - looking forward to seeing what you do with them, especially Ulene - I like the weird silent types...

Only comment so far is you've spent a lot of time developing the character of someone who is already dead (Captain Frank). You may have a reason for this (apart from the obvious - stressing that the crew is a bit dysfunctional), but personally I'd rather be finding out about the current characters more.

Good stuff though.

Cheers,

Drew.

OneoftheLost · Post by **OneoftheLost** » Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:34 pm

Not really an update, just did a quick cover in Paint.

Thanks Drew, I feel the same way when I read, but then, what keeps you reading? If I told you everything right off the bat, where's the surprise?

As for the Ol' Cap, he's still a major charecter, even dead. You'll start to understand as the story progresses. (Or at least I hope I can convey that in my writing.)

Again, thanks for reading! Working on the next part, and hope to have it up in a few hours or more.

Rebecca · Post by **Rebecca** » Sat Dec 05, 2009 3:04 pm

fun so far!!! keep going!

B

OneoftheLost · Post by **OneoftheLost** » Mon Dec 07, 2009 11:01 am

Thanks for the read! Hope it was enjoyable.

pagroove · Post by **pagroove** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 12:02 am

Really good flow. Nice story and good atmosphere

Captain Tylor · Post by **Captain Tylor** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 2:13 pm

Enjoying the read.

Great to have some more fiction.

Website · Post by **DaddyHoggy** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:04 am

Good part III - interesting dialogue - tight - believeable.

Can I suggest you post here - on the thread - indicating a new part has been appended to the first post otherwise you're relying on us wandering past to the thread start just to check if the story has grown.

ClymAngus · Post by **ClymAngus** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:46 am

This has some good pacing, it's in no hurry to get anywere (a skill I am still to master). As a result there is a lot of time to drink in the atmosphere. Excellent work.

OneoftheLost · Post by **OneoftheLost** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 2:35 am

Thanks for the reads! I'll be sure to update the thread as the story grows. Thanks for all the compliments, definatly motivates me to get the next part finished and correct some of the original errors.

OneoftheLost · Post by **OneoftheLost** » Fri Sep 24, 2010 8:16 am

I honestly didn't think I'd finish this story, but after re-reading it, I feel like I should finish it. Or at least continue the story, and the charactors contained within.

However, I started writing at 1am, and just finished part 4 at 3am. Im aware that there will be spelling and grammar mistakes. I ran it through an online spell-checker, but I think those things are crap.

Basically I wanted to continue and put it up while it was fresh in my mind.Ive also noticed its quite long, and a real PAIN to wade through, so I appreciate anyone who does! Its a pretty slow paced story. With alot of unneccesary junk. Guess that's my writing style.

Hopefully I'll have another part up before the end of the week, but no promises.

Basically, every part so far is exposition. I want to draw readers into a universe, while showing the cast, and ideas of the story. The real.. 'plot' if you will, hasn't started yet. Its coming, and I'm slowly getting there, but I think ALOT of backstory, and exposition needs to be shown before the plot makes sense. Silly, I know, but its how I write.

Thanks for the read if you do, and if not, thanks for the space to practice my writing!

JazHaz · Post by **JazHaz** » Fri Sep 24, 2010 8:47 am

Have added this story to the Oolite Stories page on the Wiki.

OneoftheLost · Post by **OneoftheLost** » Fri Sep 24, 2010 8:37 pm

Well thank you!

Its an honor to be on the wiki.