Just a fUNNY

[Alex]

BILL GATES AND GMH:

From my girlly friend 13,000 miles Away

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'


In response to Bill ' s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:



If GM had developed technology like Microsoft , we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask ' Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!

NOO,

Who wouldn't want to fly an Oolite ship?

Happy hunting
Al

[Lestradae]

[Cmdr Wyvern]

That's an old, old gag. It goes as far back as win95.

[another_commander]

Moved to Outworld.

[Chaky]

That's an old, old gag. It goes as far back as win95.

...and still is very actual.

[Cmd. Cheyd]

Of Windows 95, I'd agree.

[Chaky]

You must be Mac or *nix user.....or working for M$.

(I admit, XP or later aren't that unstable, but that's only because they got zillion patches. Everything else on the list works for them too)

[Cmd. Cheyd]

Well, to tell the truth:
1) Used to work for Microsoft - About 7 years ago.
2) I use Windows now.
3) I use Linux (Fedora) now.
4) I use OSX now. (No, not upgraded to SL yet.)

And no, most of those are hyperbole for cheap humor. The underlying truths to them can be applied to all 3 "families" of OS that I work with. They all crash for no reason whatsoever - If you don't understand them. If you do, you understand (after a little digging) what caused the crash. They all force a certain level of obsolescence (although some flavors of *nix are far more forgiving) in equipment. I could pick each of the other 'jokes' apart as well, but it's tedious and I have work to do.

[polyh]

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

Actually you have to do this on quite a few cars nowadays.