I have no idea if anyone is interested in this...

General discussion for players of Oolite.

Moderators: winston, another_commander

Post Reply
User avatar
drew
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 2190
Joined: Fri May 19, 2006 9:29 am
Location: In front of a laptop writing a book.
Contact:

I have no idea if anyone is interested in this...

Post by drew »

...but, I found it on my harddisk the other day and thought I might as well make it available.

These are my 'alternative' sections for Mutabilis that were cut during writing. The story was significantly modified, but there were some 'good bits' that I couldn't find a place for - which you might find of interest.

I've learnt that you never throw anything away when writing, so I've dumped them into a single file, added some notes and put them online if anyone is interested in having a look at this part of trying to get a story to hang together...!

So Mutabilis - The Cutting Room Floor :wink:

Cheers,

Drew.
Drew is an author of SF and Fantasy Novels
WebsiteFacebookTwitter
User avatar
Rxke
Retired Assassin
Retired Assassin
Posts: 1759
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2004 4:54 pm
Location: Belgium

Post by Rxke »

Oooh! Shiny!

You should've repackaged the whole thing, called it digitally remastered with outtakes and limited editions and...

oh wait, this excellent stuff comes free 8)
User avatar
Captain Hesperus
Grand High Clock-Tower Poobah
Grand High Clock-Tower Poobah
Posts: 2310
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:10 pm
Location: Anywhere I can sell Trumbles.....

Post by Captain Hesperus »

<unlurk>
I'm waiting for the Limited Issue Gold Edition with Writer's Commentary.

Captain Hesperus

<lurk>
The truth, revealed!!
Image
User avatar
drew
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 2190
Joined: Fri May 19, 2006 9:29 am
Location: In front of a laptop writing a book.
Contact:

Post by drew »

Rxke wrote:
Oooh! Shiny!

You should've repackaged the whole thing, called it digitally remastered with outtakes and limited editions and...

oh wait, this excellent stuff comes free 8)
Outtakes... now there's an idea...

“Rebecca.” Jim stepped towards her, trying to calm his voice. Things were happening too
fast, “Rebecca, just listen to me. Put the gun down...”
“Don't come any closer!” she whispered, stepping back, and then whipping the gun back
towards Zerz, glaring with unconcealed hatred, her face a mask of fury and rage.
“I’ve finally caught up with you.” She whispered, her eyes narrowing.
“Rebecca, wait! Don’t…!”
She pulled the trigger and the gun went click.
Note to production - Rifle special effects insert
Rebecca grinned, looking at the rifle, "Wooo. scary stuff..."
Zerz grinned back manically and puts on an Alec Guinness voice, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!"
Film crew laugh.
Drew shouts, "CUT!"

Or...

Jim could barely summon the strength to respond. The numbness was moving up his chest,
into his arms and down into his legs. So many thoughts drifted through his head, alongside so many
regrets.
Just like before - there is never time, never enough time!
“Rebecca, I know you saved me...”
Darkness fell, whirling at the edge of his vision. He could hear Rebecca's voice receding, as
if at a great distance.
“Jim, please, don't! Jim, stay with me! Stay with me! Don't you dare die on me! Jim! JIM! Jim! Jim! Please.... don't go, Jim! JIM!!!"
From offstage, Zerz says, "He's dead Jim!"
Jim and Rebecca crease up.
Drew shouts, "CUT!"

Or...

“Where's your ship?” Jim demanded.
“It's right here. Zerz took my key though. I'll have to use the back door.” Rebecca said,
holding up her hands in front of her, feeling her way. She looked as if she was miming, “Ah, here
we are.”
A loading ramp appeared out of nothing.
Jim stared, “You have a cloaking device too?"
Rebecca grinned and replied, "Yeah, this is a real cheap book!"
Drew shouts, "CUT!"

Or...

Rebecca struggled wildly, flailing with her legs trying to get a purchase on him somehow. Her
hands grabbed hold of his arm, trying to move it, but she had no leverage. He seemed inordinately
strong, she struggled for breath.
“You are not worthy to be fought on equal terms.” he whispered, his face close to hers,
“You are trash, a classless excrement with ideas above her station.”
“I'm better than you!” she choked out, “And you know it!”
He rolled the knife around in his fingers in front of her face. The point was inches from her
eyes.
Zerz eyed her closely, "And now your highness, we will discuss the location of the Rebels secret base..."
Rebecca mimes a princess leia hairstyle, "The more you tighten your grip..."
Zerz squeezes her throat.
Rebecca wheezes, "I can't say my lines!!!"
Drew shouts, "CUT!"

“And now you know it is...” Zerz interjected.
Rebecca continued her tirade at Jim, “If Raxxla exists and I can use it to save my family,
then he's irrelevant!”
“Rebecca, there simply isn't a chance that we can save your family!” Jim returned, trying to
reason with her, “Time travel isn't possible, end of story! Even if it were, chasing our own desires
would be fraught with danger...”
“DAMN YOU JIM!” Rebecca slammed both fists down on the table, “I WILL HAVE MY
FAMILY BACK!”
The plates and cutlery rattled, the wine glasses vibrating. One fell over and rolled across the
table in a small arc before colliding with a plate. It sounded surprisingly noisy in the silence
following Rebecca's outburst.
Rebecca wincesd, and rubbed her palms, "Ow, that hurt!"
"Time of the month dearie?" said Zerz.
"Oi!"
Rebecca chases Zerz around the set.
Drew shouts, "CUT!"

:lol:

Cheers,

Drew.
Drew is an author of SF and Fantasy Novels
WebsiteFacebookTwitter
User avatar
goran
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 294
Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2008 12:32 am
Location: Zagreb, Croatia
Contact:

Post by goran »

Hilarious! :lol:
User avatar
Diziet Sma
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 6311
Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2009 12:20 pm
Location: Aboard the Pitviper S.E. "Blackwidow"

Post by Diziet Sma »

Agreed! Got any more outtakes?

I've just finished reading the alternative parts... some very nice plot concepts, it's kind of a shame that it became too complex to hold together. Well done Drew, and thanks for releasing this collection!
User avatar
drew
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 2190
Joined: Fri May 19, 2006 9:29 am
Location: In front of a laptop writing a book.
Contact:

Post by drew »

Diziet Sma wrote:
Agreed! Got any more outtakes?

I've just finished reading the alternative parts... some very nice plot concepts, it's kind of a shame that it became too complex to hold together. Well done Drew, and thanks for releasing this collection!
Just made them up this morning - feel free to have a go everyone :lol:

How about...

Behind the shattered remains of the Asp, another ship was rapidly approaching; a wide low and
classic ship design, instantly familiar to the Python crew.
“Cobra mark three!” D’vlin twittered, wriggling in excitement, waving four of his legs around.
“No, it’s a Cobra Courier,” Stepan argued back. “Look at the flux panels…”
“I don’t give a flying fish what it is, it’s helping us out! Get back to the guns!” Hesperus yelled
out, waving his paws around theatrically, striking what he thought was a dynamic Captain-like pose.
“Damn the miss...crrrr...aaaachhh...spppp...grrrr..accckkk."
Drew shouted, "CUT! What the %^&% is up now?"
D'vlin took off his head, revealing the actor beneath, "Hairball."
Drew muttered, "Never work with animals...."

Cheers,

Drew.
Drew is an author of SF and Fantasy Novels
WebsiteFacebookTwitter
User avatar
Star Gazer
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 633
Joined: Sat Aug 14, 2004 4:55 pm
Location: North Norfolk, UK, (Average Agricultural, Feudal States,Tech Level 8)

Post by Star Gazer »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Very funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes...
Post Reply