Hi, luckyluca! First of all welcome to the boards and of course to this great game!
Generally you may want to have a look at the
Oolite section of the elite-wiki, for a start the
Instruction Manual and the
FAQ-page may be of interest for you, but there is a ton of other useful information as well, from
lists of available ships, to the
political background, and fiction.
As far as your questions are concerned: There is no communication menu in Oolite, although this is a long-standing wish. So you can dock with any station at any time. Just think that your ship's computer do all the required communication automatically. If you invest in
Docking Computers, docking gets easier, and you will receive the necessary clearances as soon as you activate it close to a station (default key: C). (Although, if you are a Fugitive, the station will refuse to let you dock using your docking computer. You will still be able to dock manually, though.)
To your second question or observation: Indeed, docking manually has to be learned. There is no way to maintain a specific roll-rate at any time. So what you are doing (continuously pressing the roll-key, in order to match the station's roll as good as possible) is exactly what we all do. There is just one thing you have to do: learn it. Or buy Docking Computers (see above). At least the existence of the Navigation Buoy makes it easier to line up exactly in front of the docking bay, than it used to be in previous incarnations of Elite.
So, have fun exploring the game (and the Ooniverse).
And, if you have any further questions, feel free to ask here (but, please, kindly consult the available documentation as well).
stop,
turn and line up accurately with the entrance,
speed up (with a bit of practice) faster is easier, there is more chance of going out of alignment at slow speeds,
