The Adventures Of The Three Idioteers

[Huntress]

Before you read, I'd like to thank Cody and Diziet Sma for encouraging me to continue this story. I'm a bit of a sloth, and some motivation goes a long way. Without them it's a sure fact that this story would never have continued. <sigh> Yes, it's been a month since I posted the introduction, but at least I got a chapter down. Again, thanks for your support. I also applaud my readers, who have spent precious minutes of their life reading this particular experiment of mine. Anyway enough said, you're probably wanting to read the story so enjoy!
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INTRODUCTION: MAY THE ODDS NEVER BE IN YOUR FAVOUR


Far off in space lies a region of space seven intergalactic jumps away from what is now known as Galaxy One. As such, it was unimaginably dubbed Galaxy Eight, presumably by a bunch of fools. Somehow they managed to survive long enough to jump a complete circuit of the galaxies to tell everyone of their discoveries and sadly, their new names. Legend has it that the sector of space now known as Galaxy One was once called by another name, but as this rather unimaginative crew decided to name the galaxies they went to numerically, the old name for Galaxy One had to be given up.

Now, surely you must think that the names for these new galaxies were to be rejected (as they were so boring), but everyone else didn't care. Soon as people heard there were other galaxies out there to explore and exploit they were off. The way old Earth gold rushes are described wouldn't even begin to do it justice. No one gave a hoot about what the galaxies were called as they were all too busy firing up their spaceships and jumping out of the galaxy, and to this day the galaxies have been named numerically.

The names of the galaxies have been changed recently though, about fifty years ago. You see, until then apparently everyone believed that there were eight separate galaxies. Somehow a team of scientists discovered that the eight galaxies were actually separate sections of one galaxy. The galaxies were renamed (as they weren't actually galaxies) as Galaxy Sector One, Galaxy Sector Two, and so on and so forth. While the names of the galaxies -oops- sectors remained the same, nothing else did. There were huge changes from those early days of space flight until now. Planets were named and colonized, technology took a huge leap forward, spacecraft changed and improved drastically and weapons of mass destruction were created, just to name a few of the changes.

What hasn't changed over the centuries is the luck and foolishness of those original explorers, or more to the point, their children. The unimaginative crew of that historical journey numbered eight. One would assume that there would be plenty of young and foolish offspring running around by now, but thankfully that's not the case. If it took only eight of them to change history, imagine what hundreds of them could do. Luckily *snicker*, their luck and their descendants' luck had run out eventually, leaving only three surviving offspring.

Space is huge, and filled with trillions of inhabitants. What are the odds of the three offspring being in the same sector, or in the same system? What are the odds of them meeting? Maybe something like a gazillion kajillion to one. The odds are against them, that's for sure and hopefully always will be. May Lord Giles have mercy on us if they ever do meet, because who knows what havoc they'll wreck.


CHAPTER ONE: EN ROUTE

GALAXY SECTOR SEVEN
CERIANON SYSTEM (SPACE)- RICH INDUSTRIAL- DEMOCRACY- TECH LEVEL 14- POPULATION 5.9 BILLION FIERCE HARMLESS RODENTS

"Ozzie m'boy, geet yer head outta dose crates an' redeee fer lanin'," a slurred voice crackled over the Python's ancient comm system. In the cargo hold, deep down in the ship's belly, Austin jumped and hit his head promptly on the ceiling. A large BOONNNG! reverberated throughout the hold.

"Prak!" he swore loudly. "I just preened my feathers!" Grumbling, he bent down his head and rubbed it with his wings. "Now how am I gonna impress the ladies?"

Once the ringing in his ears stopped, he tried figure out what the voice said but it was impossible. At the moment the cargo hold was nearly empty which created a huge echo, and not to mention that the person was highly intoxicated.

"Ozzeeee, whaz takin' sooo long? You 'ave a seet up 'ere, an' it's mizzin yer bud" the comms crackled again.

Austin tried to decipher the message again but for all he knew the person was speaking a different language. Sighing, he closed the crate of food he was rummaging through and made his way to the elevator. It would take him to the cockpit where he'd maybe get some answers. Pushing the button to summon it, he wondered where they'd travel next. They'd just finished unloading most of their cargo at Cerianon's main station and made a rather large profit. Well, a profit as they hadn't bought any more cargo. In the trading industry, if you broke even you were considered to be lucky. Ding! The elevator had arrived. Wonder if ancient elevators dinged too, he thought. It did have a certain charm. Ducking his head, he got into the elevator. It lurched upwards and his noggin met an unyielding teltriton ceiling for the second time that day.

"Owww..." Austin whimpered "... I really need to get a helmet."

Finally the doors opened and he darted out from the box of misery only to encounter something much, much worse. In front of him sat all of the crew members, even the ones piloting the escort Sidewinders who've must've docked on the escort deck. Better hope we don't have any trouble. Taking in the scene, he noticed a large number of empty beer bottles lying around. Obviously they'd been at it for awhile.

"Why didn't you tell me you were getting wasted?" Austin moaned mournfully. "I want to get wasted!" Anyway, where had they gotten enough money to buy that much beer? Austin began to think, and slowly the pieces started to fit together. Sold the cargo at the main station... didn't pick up any more cargo... profit from the sales... Horror bloomed on his face as he realized what had happened. Striding briskly across the floor he approached the captain's chair, all the while praying to Giles that his suspicions weren't true.

"Please tell me you didn't spend all of our money on booze," he pleaded. Spinning his chair around Captain A'ewvd (a rather sickly mantid) looked at Austin and chuckled. Or at least tried to chuckle. All that he could accomplish was a rather harsh clicking sound with his mandibles.

"Naw, jess take a seet Ozzeee. I din' spen' all da monee." Austin clacked his beak in annoyance. Among the avians he was something of an anomaly. Unlike other avians, he had a long neck and legs and couldn't fly, resembling a non-sentient Earth avian called an ostrich. Henceforth the nick name his captain had given him, Ozzie. The name drove him crazy as he was sentient, and had bright green feathers unlike the ostrich.

"Well, what did you do with the rest of it, and should you really be flying this thing in your condition?" he asked angrily as he secured himself to the seat made to hold his large frame.

"Dooncha worree, ododock iz on. Besize, 'll spen' da ress ob it 'ere" the Captain answered, spinning himself around.

"Whaddya mean, spend the rest of it here?" Austin asked nervously.

Captain A'ewvd and the rest of the crew which encompassed two shaggy canines, a lobster and a mangy feline were famous for getting into trouble. During the two years Austin had been around, they'd almost lost the ship five times and just last month they'd had an encounter with a group of horny lizards. They'd barely escaped with their clothes.

"Out da winnow" the Captain replied, jarring him from his thoughts. The poor avian looked forward and was greeted by a terrible sight.

"We've gotta 'portant meetin' wit ta hOopy peeple. Gonna doin 'vestment, an' doon' wanna keep 'em waitin'."

The avian let out a shocked squawk and could only stare in horror as the CoachWhip hOopy Casino that lay before them, and the imminent loss of the ship approached.

*****

CERIANON SYSTEM (PLANETSIDE)

Erica turned on her holopad and brought up her credit balance for the fifth time that day. The meagre allowance she was given by the orphanage each month barely amounted to anything and her situation was getting dire. She would be sixteen in two weeks, and then the Navy could haul her away for their cadet program. A couple of years ago she wouldn't have had this problem, but Thargoid attacks had been occurring more and more frequently which resulted in Bill SKFN (standing for Snatch Kids For Navy) being implemented.

Or, as everyone liked to call it, skiffin. Everyone of course meaning kids. The bill was popular with the adults, as it had nothing to do with them. Of course they like it, 'cuz they're not the ones being forced to join the Navy and fly to their deaths, she thought sourly. And so a new curse word was born: skiffin. It was derogatory ('Cuz who likes the Navy? I mean, seriously? Who?), it meant death (No duh! You got skiffed, you die), and as an added bonus it was fun to say (skiffin skiffin skiffn skiffin).

It also added more fun to an ancient childhood song called Skip To My Loo, now renamed Skiff To My Loo. But back to the bill. Due to the inexperience of the Navy's pilots, much more perished than those being drafted. So to fix up the problem, any youth without parents would be drafted at the age of sixteen. The Navy said that the cadets wouldn't get sent out until they were of legal age which was eighteen, but Erica knew better than that. After all, would the Navy really waste money on feeding expendable kids for two years before sending them out into space? Fat chance on that happening. The Navy was already how many billions of dollars in debt, so why'd they dig themselves into a deeper mess? No, she had to get out, and soon. The only problem was finding a way out without getting caught, and staying that way for two years. Then she'd be an adult and free. Until then she'd have to play it smart and avoid the authorities, which she figured shouldn't be too hard.

Due to the massive debt they had created, the Navy and every other police branch had had their budgets and staff cut in an effort to get rid of their debt. It left maybe one officer per five hundred citizens which was way higher than the suggested one officer per fifty citizens for a democratic system. She'd calculated that most officers were incompetent and bribable, which meant if she was "on her best behaviour", as her supervisors would say, it'd be a piece of cake. The one thing she hadn't figured out yet was how exactly she'd get off the planet, but it'd come to her. She'd get away if it was the last thing she'd do.

....TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER TWO: DRAWING NEARER

[ClymAngus]

More fiction wooo!

[Cody]

More fiction wooo!

Aye... and apparently I'm partly responsible! <grins>

Good start, Huntress... and I'm liking orphans being press-ganged. Skiffin... excellent!

[Norby]

Wow, a real Oofiction. Keep up the good work!

[Diziet Sma]

More fiction wooo!

Aye... and apparently I'm partly responsible! <grins>

Good start, Huntress... and I'm liking orphans being press-ganged. Skiffin... excellent!

Aye.. think I quite enjoy being blamed for this..

Keep up the good work, Huntress!

[ClymAngus]

Yes it is an inspired idea. In an up coming chapter I have Galcop run orphanages/reform schools but they're 'current existence' is up for debate so it can be this way if it wants to be.
Wait till we get into chapter 40 and beyond, you'll see what I mean.

Anyway this isn't about Me it's about You! It is a brave thing to take on; comedy. The field is quite open in this respect (I think it's the luckless cat boy and that's about it). I certainly wouldn't go near it (I'm better at horror anyway) but that's only because I'm realistic about my abilities in that area. You on the other hand have gotten off to a cracking start! Keep up the good work!

[Cody]

One thing: try to sort the formatting out (I'm guessing you're C&Ping from Word/Wordpad, and still have very limited online time) - make it easier to read.

Edit to add: much better!

[Huntress]

Hello everybody! Sorry I took so long to update, but school took a lot of time away from writing - five essays, anyone? I'm back writing now, and I've completed about half of chapter two. I'm posting it now as it's over a thousand words long and I don't really want anyone to strain their eyes reading for awhile. As soon as I complete the rest of chapter two I'll post it here, but for now enjoy!!
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CHAPTER TWO: DRAWING NEARER

ERICA
PLANETSIDE

Looking around the bench she sat on, Erica observed everyone around her with calculating eyes. While there were families taking strolls, businessmen and women on break, pickpockets darting through the crowds and other unsavoury characters going about their daily business, there were no officials in sight. Mind you, that was probably because everyone here was armed and dangerous. Even the children here carried blades and blasters. Cerianon wasn't a rough place, but it was easy to end up dead if you went down the wrong street.

From across the street a flash of light hit her eyes, nearly blinding her. Oooooh, she moaned inwardly , Why do I have to do this? Usually she frequented the better parts of the city, but if she wanted to escape she'd have to deal with darker side of life. Not that it was a bad thing, but she usually preferred to not piss off the mafia or any of the local gangs. The metal glinted again, practically burning out her retinas with the sun's reflection. That's it!! Standing up and clenching her fists, Erica weaved through the crowd, intent on putting an end to the flasher. Despite her anger, she snickered. Good one, she thought to herself. Her laughter stopped abruptly as the alley loomed before her in all it's shadowed glory. From within its depths she could hear heavy breathing, and six feet off the ground two large, beady red eyes gleamed down at her.

"Well, kid, whath'll ith be?" a voiced growled from the darkness with a raspy lisp. "I goth evrything from Megaweed thoo the hard thstuff."

Erica paled as she realized what she had gotten herself into. I knew I should've minded my own business! Why did I have to go stick my nose where it didn't belong?, she moaned inwardly.

"Uum.... ne-never m-mind... s-s-sorry f-for both-bothering you..." she squeaked out. A low growl came from the shadows.

"Thorry! I'll make you thorry!" roared the voice, as a furry hand holding a blaster rose towards her face.

So that's what was reflecting the light, she thought detachedly. I really hate fighting, but he leaves me no choice... and it'd be good to have a decent weapon where I'm going. Sighing, she ducked under the outstretched arm and rammed her shoulder into the creature's midsection. Unable to keep it's balance (and it's breath), the blaster clattered to the cold tarmac as the creature fell over. A rather large CRACK! sounded as it hit the ground. Poised on the balls of her feet, Erica braced herself for further combat. When it became clear that the dealer wasn't stirring, she finally slumped her shoulders and relaxed.

"Humph, I probably should practice more. I'm getting slow", she grumbled. "Oh well, let's see what this guy's packing." But first, she picked the blaster up from off the ground. It was miracle that it hadn't gone off. If it had... well, things could've gotten pretty ugly. Turning on the safety - or at least she hoped so, she didn't really know much about blasters and such - she stuffed it into her front pocket for quick and easy access. Walking forwards, she made her way towards the dealer only to find herself on the cold, hard ground. Wha? I tripped...? Pushing herself up, she looked around and spotted the source of her fall.

"Harmless my fanny", she snarled. It was a large, scaly tail attached to what she now knew was a rat. To be specific, a Fierce Harmless Rat. Scowling, she crawled over to it and poked his snout to make sure he wasn't faking it. Better to be safe than sorry, Erica thought as she began to rummage through the rodent's coat.

Pulling out syringes, bottles, bags and other drug paraphernalia, she laid them to the side. Right now she wasn't interested in them, and an offender status wasn't what she needed. What she needed was money, and possibly a ship. Her fingers brushed something flat and metal. Yanking it out, she crowed "Jackpot!"

In her hands lay a holopad, and it was even unlocked for her. Instinctively she pulled up the credit balance, and gave a low whistle. Glowing at her was 12 324.5 Cr.

"Thank Giles", she breathed, staring up at the sky. She was free! No longer would she have to put up with the supervisors and other kids at the orphanage. Now she could do whatever she wanted, and all she had to do was stay hidden for two years!

A new thought occurred to her. If the dealer had that many credits in his balance, maybe he had more stashed away. Pocketing the holopad, she began rifling around in the rodent's remaining pockets but found nothing else except for a slim card, which she scrutinized closely. Gasping in astonishment, she stared at it unbelievingly. It was a passcard for a ship - a ship that happened to be docked in the city's docking bay. Only minutes ago she was dirt poor and looking for a ship, and now she had one and plenty of cash.

"Thank you, Giles! You won't regret this, I swear! I promise I'll donate 2 000 Cr at a shrine, thank you so much!" Kneeling over the dealer, she thanked him, too.

"I know you're going to be pissed when you wake up, but thanks so much for everything. I really appreciate the help, even though you'll probably never see me again." The dealer lay still... almost too still... wasn't he supposed to be breathing?

"Oh no...", Erica whispered, horrified at her discovery. "I never wanted that, never that...", but the rodent still lay there unmoving. No no no no no! I'm not a killer... it's not my fault he his head too hard. Oohhhh, what am I going to do?

Shaking, she turned around and ran out of the alley. There was only one thing for her to do now, and that was to escape.

*****

SPACE
HOoPY CASINO
ENTER: SHERRY

Sherry weaved between the tables, nimbly avoiding groping hands. Grrr.... I just hate humans. Normally she wouldn't have even considered a job at the casino, but she did get paid 100 Cr an hour, not including tips. A six hour shift could pay her rent for the month. The only downside was the uniform- or lack thereof. She just had to deal with the drunks. And the jerks. And her boss. And the other waitresses... gee, basically everything sucked. Maybe I really shouldn't work here... but this outfit DOES look good on me... Grinning tiredly, she managed to make it to the bar without any handtastrophes. Sighing with relief, she dropped the tray of empties into the auto washer.

"Well, that's it. PHIL, I'M LEAVING!" she hollered to the dejected-looking lobster bartender.

"Clack clak clak clik clak..." he slowly clacked his pincers.

"Yeah yeah, I'll see you next week... maybe." Humming to herself, she went into the backroom and changed her clothes. If she was lucky she'd be able to catch a shuttle back to the station right away. If she couldn't... well, she knew how to hit a guy where it hurt. She hadn't grown up in the slums without learning a thing or two. Plus there were her claws. There were some upsides with being part-feline.

Pulling out her holopad she stared at it, hoping that a shuttle was scheduled to go to the station. There was. Thank the gods! If I run I might be able to make it. It'd take too long to use the regular routes, so she'd have to go through back passages to make it in time. She shoved her holopad back into her pocket and darted out the back entrance.

To the left lay a well-lit passage. To the right laid a dim, lonely passage which was probably only used for maintenance. Sheesh, you'd think this was a horror movie. Oh no, which path should I pick?, she thought mockingly, the beautiful, sparkling path with tons of people or the scary dark one which will get me killed by some monster? Lets just go down the dark path and see what it's like! Giggling at her own joke, she turned right and began running.

Left turn, right turn, straight, left again, keep on going... The walls blurred around her as she continued to run towards the docking bay. Most people couldn't run down passages in the dark- but then again, she wasn't most people. She was half-human, half-feline with benefits from each. Such as seeing in the dark, for instance. The passage grew lighter, and up ahead she could see the docking bay.

"So...close..." she panted. By now she had almost reached the end. Just a couple more steps and- WHUMPH! Shrieking, she skidded across the floor and directly into something sticky.

"Please don't let it be garbage, please don't let it be garbage..." she muttered. She opened her eyes and immediately wished that she hadn't. It wasn't garbage, it was... oil? But oil isn't sticky... Right next to her lay what looked to be a duffel bag? A rug? Whatever it was, the black goop seemed to be coming from it. Shuddering, she slowly climbed to her feet.

"Eew..." She tried brushing off the goop, but it just spread more. Retching, she hunched over and got out her holopad.

"Today is the worst day of my life. Why? Whyyyyyyy!?!" she moaned. According to her holopad the shuttle had left just a minute ago. If only she hadn't fallen. But little did she know her day was about to get A LOT worse. A Galcop officer had heard the commotion and came her way.

"Is everything alright there?" he asked with authority. Not wanting to be seen covered in... well, whatever it was she quickly turned away.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine."

The Galcop officer kept on heading her way. The shriek was obviously feminine, and there was no one else around. He grinned at the prospect of being able to have some fun. After all, his word was law. However, his grin quickly disappeared as he saw what was laying next to her.

"Miss, I'm gonna have to take you in."

Sherry hissed as her arms were grabbed and fought to get free.

"What the hell are you talking about?!? I just missed my shuttle!"

"Yeah, well, I'm sure he misses his life more than you miss your shuttle," the officer replied angrily.

"What do you mean? Who's life?"

"That beetle you've just killed."

"But I didn't kill...." Horror overcame her as she realized what she was covered in. Blood. Beetle juice. Whatever you call it.

"I think I'm gonna be sick..." she moaned as waves of nausea washed over her.

"Well go do it elsewhere and not on me. Do you know how expensive this uniform is?"

"But I didn't do it!!! I swear!!!" Sherry pleaded, gulping air in a vain attempt to settle her heaving stomach.

"Yeah, well tell that to the judge," the officer said as he began dragging her away. Sherry twisted her head around and saw the officer's id. I'll remember you, Officer Herri. I'm gonna get out of jail, and then it's payback time.


...TO BE CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 3: OH SHIP!!

[Cody]

Rockin' along nicely!

[pagroove]

quite a story. Happy to read further

[Huntress]

Finally the end of Chapter Two is finished! I might rewrite the ending a bit if I don't like it.... anyway, next Thursday is the last day of school for me and then I'm done forever! I'm both happy and sad. Sad that I can't go back, but happy as I can start my own life. Which means I'll finally have more time to write... I have an excellent 3 points of view piece that I wrote for this story, but it'll have to wait until later... anyway, see you in prison, Sherry!!

Stay tuned for Chapter 3 where we'll see what happens to Erica and Ozzie...oops, I mean Austin.

[Huntress]

*laughing hysterically* More time for writing? Yeah, right! Whoever said that was a fool! Haha ha ha... ha... that was me, wasn't it? ...But never fear! This story isn't going to end here (or any time soon)! Just as long as I keep on typing, keep on typing, keep on typing... after all, there are so many wacky things that HAVE to happen!
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CHAPTER 3: OH SHIP!

SPACE

"No, no, no, no, no..." Austin moaned, staring at the casino. He thought of what had happened during his two years onboard The Drunken Monk, and whimpered. Why didn't I become a vet like Momma told me to? He should've never signed on. Who in their right mind would name a ship The Drunken Monk? Well, never again. Once he reached solid ground there was no way he'd ever set foot on a ship, not even to save his life. The only problem was whether or not they'd have a ship to take him to solid ground, or to at least the main station.

Knowing the captain, he wouldn't stop gambling until either he passed out or had nothing left to gamble. And the captain's tolerance for alcohol had gotten higher over the past two years. Austin knew that their luck would run out, one way or another. It was time to make a decision. He could resign at the next station, or stop the ship from docking at the casino. Naturally, he chose the best option and decided to stop the ship from docking.

"Hey, Captain..." Austin began.

"Shut yer trap, Ozzee. Cain't yer shuddup fer avile? Yer git so annoying, jest talkin' an' talkin'. Yer ask so menee questones aboot what should be where an' where should be what."

"There's nothing wrong with asking about our profits and how much credits we have. It's perfectly normal, but then again, this isn't a normal ship now, is it?" Austin snapped back, infuriated that his accounting skills weren't wanted.

"Well den, if yer want normal dan mebbe we should leave ya at da next station, wheech won't ve long."

"There's no frakkin' way yer... um... you're leaving me at a casino! I have rights!" Austin yelled.

"Yeah, da wight to wemain silent!" Captain A'ewvd shot back.

"Well, we're not docking at a casino today!" Austin shrieked, and before he knew it he had shoved Captain A'ewvd away from the controls.

Austin may not have known much about ships but he did know that once autopilot was on, all one had to do to stop it was to use the controls. Looking around frantically, Austin searched for a button to push or a switch to flick that looked harmless. He found a switch that looked innocent enough and flipped it just before the Captain knocked him to the ground.

"JEST WHADDAYA THINK YER DOIN' -" Captain A'ewvd began to roar, only to be cut off by a tinny, electronic voice.

" Autopilot off. Injectors engaged."

Now, unlike her name, normally The Drunken Monk would be running empty. Today however, there was about .2 ly of fuel left in her tanks. The perfect amount to get her up to speed and to ensure that she'd be smashed into oblivion in the event of a collision. And just off to port was a huge casino that was only a kilometre away.

The old Python lurched forward, sending everything that was left unsecured to the back of the bridge. That included bottles of alcohol, leftover food, an unfortunate ostrich and the captain.

"Wah!" Austin yelped as he was thrown backwards. He slammed into the back of the bridge and heard a loud CRACK! I hope that wasn't my back, he thought fearfully. Looking up he saw what looked to be hundreds of bottles heading towards him (although there was only about a dozen).

"Oh no! I'm gonna die! I wanna liiiiiiiiiivve!" He shrieked as bottles smashed all around him with large CRACKS! When no more large CRACKS! could be heard, Austin looked around cautiously. None of the bottles hit him, and everything appeared to be alright.

"I'm gonna live!", he said happily as a shadow darkened his view. Looking up, he saw the large shape that was Captain A'ewvd falling towards him.

"Aaaaiiieeeee-oomph!"

"Yer damn-blasted bird! I'm gonna wring yer scrwany lil' neck!" Captain A'ewvd growled angrily. To this Austin had no reply. He was too busy trying to force air into his crushed lungs.

"Weel? What do ye have ta say fer yerself?" Captain A'ewvd snarled, shaking Austin so hard that he looked like a bobblehead. Austin simply pointed to the window.

"Pull up!" yelled the traffic controller over the comm system. "Drunken Monk, pull up!"

Captain A'ewvd whirled around just in time to see his beloved ship attempting to break through the casino's shields.

"Shi-" his voice was drowned out by a large SCREEEEECCCHHH! that shook the entire ship, the sound of metal meeting an uncompromising object - in this case, the casino's shields. For a moment it seemed as if they'd break through, but for every action there's an opposite and just as strong reaction. The Python screamed in agony, her frame buckling under the force of the casino's shields pushing her back. For a brief instant the ship was still, and then it was flung backwards at an incredible speed. Instantly the entire crew was assaulted by a deafening cacophony of noise.

Large BANGS! sounded throughout ship, interspersed with the howling and whooping of various klaxons and alarms. Austin and Captain A'ewvd were once again sent flying, this time to the front of the bridge.

"Owwwwwwwwwww" moaned Austin, "I knew it! I knew the conspiracies were true! Someone is out to eat me! They already tenderized me!" he wailed.

"Da whole werld iz out ta git ya!" snarled Captain A'ewvd who was frantically trying to slow down his ship, "In fact, nevva mind da whole werld, I'll git ya ferst!" Turning around, he smiled savagely. "Afta all, vhat happens on dis ship stays on dis ship."

"Um, hold on - wait a moment!" Austin shrieked as the Captain walked menacingly towards him. "What about the casino?"

"Vhat aboot da casino?" Captain A'ewvd growled, grinning evilly.

"Well, I, uh, don't think they're going to be too happy about someone crashing into them. They, uh, might, uh, fine you. That's right, fine you! Or they could, uh, take the ship away!" Of course Austin knew that they wouldn't impound the ship, but he fervently hoped that no one else would.

"Which means I git ta take it outta yer hide", A'ewvd said, nodding his head. "I 'gree with ye, which iz why I'm gonna kill ye."

"No no no," said Austin hurriedly, "you can say that I hijacked your ship. That way you can get rid of me, and insurance will pay for the damages. Just think of me stuck mining asteroids for the rest of my life, freezing my butt off, missing meals and being beaten up. That would be much better punishment for someone like me."

"Iz true, dat." Captain A'ewvd paused, thinking hard (something which he rarely did). "Awright, ye gonna live," Austin's face visibly brightened, "but" he continued, "dat doesn't mean dat I can't torture ya ferst. I know yer like dem perty feathers, but none ov us here do." He smirked and grabbed Austin by the neck.

Oh no. Why didn't I let him kill me? Austin moaned internally. He watched in horror as Captain A'ewvd took a huge handful of feathers in his hand.

"Oh, shi- AIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

*****

Poor Austin. Poor, poor Austin. But enough about him. What will Erica do next? Where will she go? I'm pretty sure you can guess... after all, they have to meet up somehow!

[Cody]

School finished, stuff to do, a job perhaps, little or no spare time - sounds about right. Your tale continues to entertain - keep going.

[washuu_de]

Very nice story. Where was that button to get info if more comes? Ah, there!

[ClymAngus]

I'm liking the separate threads here.