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Status Quo, Chapter Eight (Final).

General discussion for players of Oolite.

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drew
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Status Quo, Chapter Eight (Final).

Post by drew »

Edit : Individual chapters no longer available, but you can download the complete version here

Kind of going to miss these characters. Always a little bitter sweet when you finish a story!

Comments and feedback as always!

Cheers,

Drew.
Last edited by drew on Tue Aug 15, 2006 3:21 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Post by Star Gazer »

Yeah, very nice. A most enjoyable book! 8)

Errors in this chapter:
Page 2:
better English= 'as equally important to...', rather than, 'equally as important...'
'...now, rapidly looming larger on the viewer; they were seconds from impact. Jim knew that the bigger, heavily shielded (?) Courier would survive...'
Page 4:
"What are you doing(?)?", Jim demanded.
Page 12:
"Learnt that from you."
Very funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes...
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Post by drew »

Thanks!

Pages 4 and 14 changed. Tried the suggestion for page 2, appreciate the english isn't so good, but it's a bit harsher and I think it scans better how it is.

Glad you enjoyed.

Cheers,

Drew.
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Post by CWolf »

Fantastic, as mentioned in other post.
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Post by Draco_Caeles »

Star Gazer wrote:
Jim knew that the bigger, heavily shielded (?) Courier would survive...'
There should be a more in there. "... the bigger, more heavily shielded Courier would survive..."
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Post by aegidian »

You should get yourself a CafePress account and publish this as a paperback! I'd buy a copy.
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Post by Selezen »

Seriously, drew, fantastic work.

<gives standing ovation>
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Post by Rxke »

Great job!

Although I had to re-read parts of the discussion with el presidente at the end, thought it was a bit confusing. But then again, I was tired when I read it, so YMMV...

Again: great job, I loved how each chapter could be a story in its own, almost, and yet make for a good cohesive story :thumbsup:
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Post by drew »

Thanks for all the feedback folks. I'll have a chat with Giles over the cafepress idea.
Rxke wrote:
Great job!

Although I had to re-read parts of the discussion with el presidente at the end, thought it was a bit confusing. But then again, I was tired when I read it, so YMMV...

Again: great job, I loved how each chapter could be a story in its own, almost, and yet make for a good cohesive story :thumbsup:
There were quite a few loose ends to tie up, and I was mindful of the events that would shortly follow in Selezens chronology. There is a thargoid attack in 3149 where Galcop calls for aid, I thought I provide a rationale for this - the current President has some dialogue with the Imperials/Federals. There is THE major thargoid war in 3151 (Rebecca gets to 'Elite' as a result), and Galcop collapses in 3162-3170 - here I was trying to show that an attitude of corruption and intrigue was already growing like a cancer in Galcop as early as 3138 (high taxes, lack of police, poor security, covert ops, the military chief of staff acting unilaterally).

Then I had to provide a meaningful way for Rebecca and Jim to continue to live without being assassinated the very next morning, and get the Q-bomb 'into the open' in order for it to appear as it does in Oolite. There was also the issue that the Q-bomb doesn't appear in FE2/FFE, so it had to be removed by some future event - hence the 'Aesbion Conflict'... whatever that is!

<gasp!>

Cheers,

Drew.
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Post by GoreLeech »

what he said about CafePress.....iron out the typos and u could make a pretty penny off this...i kno ud have my money
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Post by drew »

Giles and I are having a chat about this, trying to figure out what is doable and what is wise re copyright and derivation from 'Elite', and so on.

If you are interested in a 'hard copy' of this story please let me know via PM, so we can gauge interest.

Proceeds will go to the dev. and continuation of Oolite.

We'll keep you posted.

Many thanks,

Drew.
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Post by jonnycuba »

Bravo, a great Sunday afternoon read.

Thanks

Jonny
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Post by Draco_Caeles »

aegidian wrote:
You should get yourself a CafePress account and publish this as a paperback! I'd buy a copy.
I'd recommend Lulu over CafePress. Lulu has more flexible printing options than CP.

I'll happily offer my services as proofreader, editor and/or designer... having done all three and with some small experience in the biz... ;)
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Post by Commodore Sics D'fore »

Congrats on wrapping it up well. Cool stuff.
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