Where did we all first find Oolite
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- Cmdr. Wombat
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Well of course. I meant no disrespect to the Scots. Or the Welsh and Irish.neilplus wrote:The English deported theirs, you mean. We Scots are still rugged, handsome and intelligent
And please, the bb is read by children, so let's not get into what you keep in your sporran.
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- winston
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You ever seen the Yes Minister episode where they go to Qumran for that engineering contract? Well, you do what they do - set up a 'communication room'neilplus wrote:In today's multicultural world, the kilt is an essential item of apparel. Ever been to a Muslim party? Ever tried to smuggle a bottle of whisky in your trousers? Even if you draw the line at taping bottles to your hairy legs, you can at least carry a few miniatures in your sporran.
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According to Amercian pop culture, the first people to get on the boat to the New World were all the decent dentists.
Anyway, sporrans were only designed for one thing. Haggis storage. Cutting the legs off a wild haggis (now only found in the Highlands and northern islands) will allow them to fit snugly into the sporran. Even better, if you cook one up and wrap it in tin foil before placing it in the sporran, it makes a handy winkie warmer too, which is useful considering that a kilt is traditionally worn without underpants.
This post is rapidly running away from me...
Anyway, sporrans were only designed for one thing. Haggis storage. Cutting the legs off a wild haggis (now only found in the Highlands and northern islands) will allow them to fit snugly into the sporran. Even better, if you cook one up and wrap it in tin foil before placing it in the sporran, it makes a handy winkie warmer too, which is useful considering that a kilt is traditionally worn without underpants.
This post is rapidly running away from me...
No, no, haggis are cool. There's a lot people don't realise about haggis, in fact.
Haggis are four legged creatures closely related to voles. They measure 6-8 inches in length when fully grown, and have shorter legs on one side than the other. Male haggis have short right legs, female ones have short left legs. This allows them to wander around on mountainsides whilst remaining on an even keel. As male haggis have to move clockwise around the summit (as seen from above), and female haggis move anticlockwise, any haggis meeting another haggis going the other way instantly knows that it's just found a courtship candidate.
The technique for hunting haggis involves a large group of hunters climbing up to the top of a mountain, then rushing back down again whilst creating as much of a commotion as possible. This panics the haggis into evasive action, which often results in their losing their footing and rolling down into the valley. Once on level ground, their asymmetric body plan means that they fall over sideways when they try to run away, and the hunters can scoop them up by the dozen.
As haggis are heather-eating herbivores, their teeth are ill-suited to biting an attacker, so there's little risk in picking one up. Their primary defence is their extreme shyness, as aided by the heather camouflage pattern on their fur, which varies by the season. It's said that tartan was originally inspired by the brown, green and purple patterns of haggis fur during the heather flowering season (July and August).
Unfortunately, the ease of hunting haggis means that they're now an endangered species and protected as such. Populations are slowly recovering, but it will be a long time before the current prohibition on haggis hunting is lifted. In the meantime, all the "haggis" sold in shops are essentially funny-shaped sausages.
Is it just me, or is this thread wandering off-topic a little?
Haggis are four legged creatures closely related to voles. They measure 6-8 inches in length when fully grown, and have shorter legs on one side than the other. Male haggis have short right legs, female ones have short left legs. This allows them to wander around on mountainsides whilst remaining on an even keel. As male haggis have to move clockwise around the summit (as seen from above), and female haggis move anticlockwise, any haggis meeting another haggis going the other way instantly knows that it's just found a courtship candidate.
The technique for hunting haggis involves a large group of hunters climbing up to the top of a mountain, then rushing back down again whilst creating as much of a commotion as possible. This panics the haggis into evasive action, which often results in their losing their footing and rolling down into the valley. Once on level ground, their asymmetric body plan means that they fall over sideways when they try to run away, and the hunters can scoop them up by the dozen.
As haggis are heather-eating herbivores, their teeth are ill-suited to biting an attacker, so there's little risk in picking one up. Their primary defence is their extreme shyness, as aided by the heather camouflage pattern on their fur, which varies by the season. It's said that tartan was originally inspired by the brown, green and purple patterns of haggis fur during the heather flowering season (July and August).
Unfortunately, the ease of hunting haggis means that they're now an endangered species and protected as such. Populations are slowly recovering, but it will be a long time before the current prohibition on haggis hunting is lifted. In the meantime, all the "haggis" sold in shops are essentially funny-shaped sausages.
Is it just me, or is this thread wandering off-topic a little?
- Cmdr. Luke
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- Cmdr. Wombat
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They fail the "rugged, handsome and intelligent" criteria on all three counts.NoSleep wrote:Could you come and collect Tony Blair and Gordon Brown please?neilplus wrote:The English deported theirs, you mean. We Scots are still rugged, handsome and intelligent
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