Incursio... is online

[drew]

Bottom of page 88: "...Blaze look at her..." should be "Blaze looked at her..."

Got that, thanks.

Cheers,

Drew.

[drew]

Top of Page 96 - "Deep Horizon industries" should be "Deep Horizon Industries

Ta!

Cheers,

Drew.

[drew]

Page 88 to 89 is confusing, it ends with Rebecca, page 89 starts with a seemingly disconnected news story and then we discover we're back with Jim...

There is a double spaced gap there, but it happens to co-incide with a natural page break in the PDF version. When I stop Derik getting upset about being a politician I'll see if I can move the text a bit so it's obvious there is a scene change.

Cheers,

Drew.

[drew]

Bum-bum-bum-ba-de-da

Attaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack of the killer nitpickers!

...and that includes me.

He he... no worries. Full power anti-nitpick-thick-skin shields were in place and functioning normally...

I remember what you guys were like last time!

Cheers,

Drew.

[drew]

Love It... "Finished" it this evening... on the Desire HD in pdf format, that had small problems with the text sizes... nothing serious though.. And I think it was missing a page, without clear memory of where it was and stupid me did not note it, was to anxious getting on with the reading..

Wow, some fast readers out there. I've had 5 people tell me they've already finished. I can't read it that fast!

Cheers,

Drew.

[drew]

He got his captaincy officially observed, and was awarded the GalCop Star of Valor for his part in the Tibecia invasion. He was offered a Naval command, but politely refused, if "I can get more done on my own than having to babysit a buncha wetpawed plebes" can be called polite.
Money? He's already quite wealthy, so doesn't much care one way or the other.
I'd have to say his primary motivation would be his own code of honor. The Bugs are a menace to his friends and family, and that just won't do. He's driven by a need to set things right.
hmm... Offer him an upgrade not found on the open market, along with the chance to be a hero yet again, and he'd be happy.

Cool. I've kind of got 'Coyote' in the 'code of honour' space, so I think the 'chance to be a hero yet again' might appeal!

Cheers,

Drew.

[drew]

<bows his head briefly in awe... then howls in delight>

Great tale, Drew... a really good read.
But you getting drunk on evil juice during your speech at the launch party in IRC... well, all I can say is... 'Right on, Commander!'

Oh.. and send me the bill for the Sombrero!

Cheers,

Drew.

[Disembodied]

Hi Drew, great stuff so far! (I'm only up to p62 of the PDF.) You'll be delighted to hear that I'm compiling a whole list of typos etc., which I'll email to you when I'm done ...

[Cody]

Oh well, I'll add one then... on the 'Thanks to' page, it should be 'El Viejo' instead of 'Coyote':
To Coyote: For the character of “Coyote”

[drew]

Hi Drew, great stuff so far! (I'm only up to p62 of the PDF.) You'll be delighted to hear that I'm compiling a whole list of typos etc., which I'll email to you when I'm done ...

I was counting on it!

Cheers,

Drew.

[drew]

Oh well, I'll add one then... on the 'Thanks to' page, it should be 'El Viejo' instead of 'Coyote':
To Coyote: For the character of “Coyote”

Ah, yes. Clearly had your persona on the brain at the time!

Cheers,

Drew.

[DaddyHoggy]

I don't mind a passage of time - but Coyote can't say "two weeks?" in response to nothing...

[Cmdr Wyvern]

He got his captaincy officially observed, and was awarded the GalCop Star of Valor for his part in the Tibecia invasion. He was offered a Naval command, but politely refused, if "I can get more done on my own than having to babysit a buncha wetpawed plebes" can be called polite.
Money? He's already quite wealthy, so doesn't much care one way or the other.
I'd have to say his primary motivation would be his own code of honor. The Bugs are a menace to his friends and family, and that just won't do. He's driven by a need to set things right.
hmm... Offer him an upgrade not found on the open market, along with the chance to be a hero yet again, and he'd be happy.

Cool. I've kind of got 'Coyote' in the 'code of honour' space, so I think the 'chance to be a hero yet again' might appeal!

Cheers,

Drew.

I got it! Derik gets offered a position at the Academy Top Gun school, teaching combat tactics. That would appeal to him. Though I think he's owing Garew a punch in the kisser.

Towards the end, the bugs abduct Rebecca. Right, big mistake. He's royally pissed now, the gloves are coming off. It just became personal, and the bugs are gonna pay dearly. If at all possible he'll want to attempt a rescue regardless of risk.

There's Derik's hero moment, Drew.

[drew]

He's royally pissed now, the gloves are coming off. It just became personal, and the bugs are gonna pay dearly. If at all possible he'll want to attempt a rescue regardless of risk.

There's Derik's hero moment, Drew.

You been reading my plot out-line, Mr. Newt?

Cheers,

Drew.

[drew]

Oh well, I'll add one then... on the 'Thanks to' page, it should be 'El Viejo' instead of 'Coyote':
To Coyote: For the character of “Coyote”

Sorted! Though I'll wait for disembodied's list for a refresh of the file!

Cheers,

Drew.