Incursio... is online

[drew]

Delighted (and a little bit proud) to announce that Incursio is now available for download.

<Pearl and Dean mode>

It's been a blast writing this and huge buckets of appreciation to Daddyhoggy, Killerwolf, Clym, Cmdr Wyvern, Coyote, Hesperus, Disembodied, Cheyd and Maik for allowing me the inclusion of some of their stuff, along with everyone else who's either emailed or posted support and appreciation. It's flippin' hard (but fun) work writing a story like this and it's great (and essential) to have encouragement along the way. Right on, Commanders!

Once again, if you could see yourself willing to give a donation to charity given this is offered free and gratis, I'd be most appreciative.

Feedback on the story welcome below as always, in the finest traditions of the board.

</Pearl and Dean Mode>



... http://www.wagar.org.uk is proud to present ...

... A Creative Commons Production ...

... Part 3 of the Oolite Saga ...

... Incursio ...


Cheers,

Drew.

[DaddyHoggy]

I was still at work at 9pm, so I've only just got back, eaten, but have already downloaded and have opened it up, ready to be read!

Well done that man!

[Cody]

<bows his head briefly in awe... then howls in delight>

Great tale, Drew... a really good read.
But you getting drunk on evil juice during your speech at the launch party in IRC... well, all I can say is... 'Right on, Commander!'

[drew]

Trouble is I've got a virtual hangover this morning...

...anyone got some virtual Ibrprofen?

Cheers,

Drew.

[Capt. Murphy]

Early riser here - downloaded at dawn and inwardly digested before breakfast.

Very nice work Drew - interesting take on the Bevtva bs Fcrpvrf. V jbaqre jub'yy ghea bhg gb or gur tbbq thlf va gur raq? (ROT13)

[Cmdr Wyvern]

A smashing good tale!

Some points, though:
You forgot crew! Sure, Udian can fly solo via his immersion tank, but even then he has a crew. Derik uses an input through his prosthetic eye to fire control, and relies on his crew for the rest. It's what being a captain is all about.

Derik getting into politics? I'd have to say that would be unlikely; he strongly dislikes politicians, thinks they do more harm than good (and lawyers are worse!). His retirement plan involves puttering around in a houseboat with his wife.

[drew]

A smashing good tale!

Thanks.

Some points, though:
You forgot crew! Sure, Udian can fly solo via his immersion tank, but even then he has a crew. Derik uses an input through his prosthetic eye to fire control, and relies on his crew for the rest. It's what being a captain is all about.

Nope, deliberately left out, too many characters to manage otherwise with no available air-time for them. They maybe aboard, or Derik and Udian have invested in some serious automation in the years between 3140 and 3151. The exception is the Dubious Profit, but those characters were already known to the readers. I know it's a bit of a fudge, but otherwise the book would be much longer with all the necessary character descriptions and (to be honest) those characters won't be contributing to the story in a meaningful way.

Derik getting into politics? I'd have to say that would be unlikely; he strongly dislikes politicians, thinks they do more harm than good (and lawyers are worse!). His retirement plan involves puttering around in a houseboat with his wife.

If he gets on the Senate, he can kill all the lawyers perhaps he fancies being the Grand Moff of Tionisla? Serious though, if you give me a suggestion on what an appropriate 'reward' would be for Derik, I'll edit for a future version. As a plot device it's "whatever it takes" to get Derik along for the ride... (other than the coercion!) it has no other real significance.

Cheers,

Drew.

[Cmdr Wyvern]

Derik getting into politics? I'd have to say that would be unlikely; he strongly dislikes politicians, thinks they do more harm than good (and lawyers are worse!). His retirement plan involves puttering around in a houseboat with his wife.

If he gets on the Senate, he can kill all the lawyers perhaps he fancies being the Grand Moff of Tionisla? Serious though, if you give me a suggestion on what an appropriate 'reward' would be for Derik, I'll edit for a future version. As a plot device it's "whatever it takes" to get Derik along for the ride... (other than the coercion!) it has no other real significance.

Cheers,

Drew.

He got his captaincy officially observed, and was awarded the GalCop Star of Valor for his part in the Tibecia invasion. He was offered a Naval command, but politely refused, if "I can get more done on my own than having to babysit a buncha wetpawed plebes" can be called polite.
Money? He's already quite wealthy, so doesn't much care one way or the other.
I'd have to say his primary motivation would be his own code of honor. The Bugs are a menace to his friends and family, and that just won't do. He's driven by a need to set things right.
hmm... Offer him an upgrade not found on the open market, along with the chance to be a hero yet again, and he'd be happy.

[Frame]

Love It... "Finished" it this evening... on the Desire HD in pdf format, that had small problems with the text sizes... nothing serious though.. And I think it was missing a page, without clear memory of where it was and stupid me did not note it, was to anxious getting on with the reading..

[DaddyHoggy]

Top of page 66 (pdf format): "main clandestine" - should be "remain clandestine"

There's a page missing I think between page 61 and 62:

Page 61 ends with the sentence: "The doors closed. The man coughed politely and the combateers turned their attention to him. "

Page 62 starts with the sentence: ""Two weeks?‟ Coyote echoed in disbelief. "

I'll post more as I find them!

[DaddyHoggy]

Bottom of page 88: "...Blaze look at her..." should be "Blaze looked at her..."

[DaddyHoggy]

Page 88 to 89 is confusing, it ends with Rebecca, page 89 starts with a seemingly disconnected news story and then we discover we're back with Jim...

[DaddyHoggy]

Top of Page 96 - "Deep Horizon industries" should be "Deep Horizon Industries

[Cmdr Wyvern]

Bum-bum-bum-ba-de-da

Attaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack of the killer nitpickers!

...and that includes me.

[drew]

Top of page 66 (pdf format): "main clandestine" - should be "remain clandestine"

There's a page missing I think between page 61 and 62:

Page 61 ends with the sentence: "The doors closed. The man coughed politely and the combateers turned their attention to him. "

Page 62 starts with the sentence: ""Two weeks?‟ Coyote echoed in disbelief. "

I'll post more as I find them!

Remain sorted.

No page missing. There is a 'scene' there though, but it was dull to write the preamble to Garew's 'it's bad, it's very bad' speech. Consider it a 'passage of time' thing.

Cheers,

Drew.