ashes to ashes

[Cody]

Rationale:
Cats never fall on their back, but any buttered item (bread, scone, etc) will always fall butter side down (adjunct to Murphy's Law), so it you butter the back of a cat, it floats due to the paradox that you have created.

I can envision fleets of buttered cat airships emitting broad purrs as they travel along the sky.

That's got me chuckling... nice one Chrisfs.

[DaddyHoggy]

Of course, this effect could be amplified by building the airship out of cats.

If you built it out of cats, you could butter the back of the cats and use that to help the ship stay afloat, thus saving on gas.

Rationale:
Cats never fall on their back, but any buttered item (bread, scone, etc) will always fall butter side down (adjunct to Murphy's Law), so it you butter the back of a cat, it floats due to the paradox that you have created.

I can envision fleets of buttered cat airships emitting broad purrs as they travel along the sky.

Actually, it doesn't float, it spins, due to imperceptible differences in starting conditions - the cat tries to land on its feet, the butter tries to land on the floor and therefore, since the system is never perfectly balanced (the float condition) a rotational movement is initiated and thus the basis of a perpetual motion machine is created.

[JensAyton]

Simply keeping the cats in a paws-inward arrangement would provide a safety mechanism, as the airship would never be able to hit the ground. A section of the outer hull could be rotated to paws-outward configuration for landing.

[Commander McLane]

I wanted to raise the problem of landing, too, but I see that Ahruman already has come up with a solution.

However, if we keep the airship afloat during clever use of a paradox, the question rises: why do we need an airship in the first place? I mean, if we can do that, then we can all simply fly ourselves. The recipe for flying has been known for quite a while now: throw yourself at the ground and miss.

[DaddyHoggy]

I wanted to raise the problem of landing, too, but I see that Ahruman already has come up with a solution.

However, if we keep the airship afloat during clever use of a paradox, the question rises: why do we need an airship in the first place? I mean, if we can do that, then we can all simply fly ourselves. The recipe for flying has been known for quite a while now: throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Tried that, but I always get distracted and forget to get distracted at the vital moment.

[Killer Wolf]

I wanted to raise the problem of landing, too, but I see that Ahruman already has come up with a solution.

However, if we keep the airship afloat during clever use of a paradox, the question rises: why do we need an airship in the first place? I mean, if we can do that, then we can all simply fly ourselves. The recipe for flying has been known for quite a while now: throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Tried that, but I always get distracted and forget to get distracted at the vital moment.

has no one told you you have wings?!

[JensAyton]

It’s all that Red Bull he drinks at the Defence Orbital Space Laser Testing Platform.

[Commander McLane]

It’s all that Red Bull he drinks at the Defence Orbital Space Laser Testing Platform.

Hmmm. When he has reached the Orbital platform, he obviously is already able to fly. So what does he need the Red Bull for?

[another_commander]

Ehm, what was the subject of the thread again?

No, I'm not splitting this, half of the fun is reading the first post and then going to the last one and seeing where we've taken it to

[Lestradae]

Ehm, what was the subject of the thread again?

Well, they didn't give Killer Wolf his magic back, but they sure gave him the madness

[DaddyHoggy]

To drag it vaguely back on track - Post Airspace closure: RyanAir is refusing to cough up the mandated compensation to its passengers. (surprise, surprise)

While I think this is wrong and I hope they have their arses kicked for it - I just wish people would stop using it so it would go bust. EasyJet which is only ever slightly more expensive in my experience are so much better than RyanAir (on the two occasions where my previous employer made me use RyanAir neither time was a happy experience)

[Commander McLane]

(on the two occasions where my previous employer made me use RyanAir neither time was a happy experience)

I thought we had pretty much established by now that you have the ability to fly all by yourself!

Anyway, as I am the guy who started this thread (and no, it wasn't about mangling with Killer Wolf's magic either, Les ), I probably also could update you.

Since the madness began, I've got a full extra week of enjoying my parents' hospitality who were actually very happy to have me around for some more days. On Tuesday (that's the day before yesterday), after the restrictions had started to be lifted again, I was even able to finally reach the KLM call centre and enquire about re-booking my flight. Turned out that the earliest possibility was on Friday (that's tomorrow). I even could change my destination, because the meeting I wanted to attend this week is over anyway, so no need to pass through Dar es Salaam.

At no point the question of money turned up. Seconds after finishing the phone call I had my new reservation in my inbox. The only thing I'm still waiting for is the actual e-ticket, but according to another call this morning they're working on it. So it looks like tomorrow it's up and away (purely because I haven't yet managed that Red Bull trick, with or without the drink).

By the way: everything would have been a lot easier if I had taken a witch in the first place. There is a common belief where we are living that the women of certain villages are witches who can fly on their magical mats (not carpets!) and can take you anywhere on Earth. Only three conditions attached: (1) the whole thing can only take place at night, (2) you have to be back by morning, and (3) the passenger must be naked (don't know about the witch). Many people really believe in this, and they can present irrefutable proof: they were drinking in the evening and found themselves lying around naked somewhere in the field in the morning, with only very confused recollections of what happened in-between. Only possible conclusion: they must have been on a very confusing journey (which means far away) and back during the night!

[Diziet Sma]

To drag it vaguely back on track - Post Airspace closure: RyanAir is refusing to cough up the mandated compensation to its passengers. (surprise, surprise)

While I think this is wrong and I hope they have their arses kicked for it - I just wish people would stop using it so it would go bust. EasyJet which is only ever slightly more expensive in my experience are so much better than RyanAir (on the two occasions where my previous employer made me use RyanAir neither time was a happy experience)

Maybe they're refusing to pay up because if they did they'd go bust.. I suspect a number of marginal airlines may go under because of this event.

[Lestradae]

By the way: everything would have been a lot easier if I had taken a witch in the first place. There is a common belief where we are living that the women of certain villages are witches who can fly on their magical mats (not carpets!) and can take you anywhere on Earth. Only three conditions attached: (1) the whole thing can only take place at night, (2) you have to be back by morning, and (3) the passenger must be naked (don't know about the witch). Many people really believe in this, and they can present irrefutable proof: they were drinking in the evening and found themselves lying around naked somewhere in the field in the morning, with only very confused recollections of what happened in-between. Only possible conclusion: they must have been on a very confusing journey (which means far away) and back during the night!

There goes the magic again!

Perhaps you could ask some of these naked "travellers by witch" if they are getting rubbed in with some sort of salve after getting naked?

I have a sneaking suspicion what they might be doing when they "travel the world" that way - and why it is so confusing ...

[JazHaz]

EasyJet which is only ever slightly more expensive in my experience are so much better than RyanAir (on the two occasions where my previous employer made me use RyanAir neither time was a happy experience)

I dunno, feel uneasy about EasyJet ever since they employed a friend as a pilot!