Coyote

Writings and chronicles of the OOniverse.

Moderators: winston, another_commander

User avatar
ClymAngus
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 2514
Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:31 am
Location: London England
Contact:

Post by ClymAngus »

El Viejo wrote:
I had thought that the descriptions of space combat would be the easiest bits to write, but it was the other way around. I think that you have to be either really brief, or really detailed… there is no middle ground.


Well yeah, I tend to find it all depends on focus. You can enthral the audience for a paragraph with the finest detail. Maybe even an insignificant detail, if your hitting a cliff hanger then you can get away with staring at the cliff edge for a moment or two. Or turn it into a new dramatic peak of the ongoing dramatic crescendo.

Consider; Two paragraphes describe the same action. (this is a way of doing it, I'm sure you have 101 better solutions, sorry I find humility important around my elders and betters, I show view points and nothing more. )

"The ship evaporated the shrapnel pinging off the hull"

"the ship evaporated, so close that the captain could almost feel the heat of it's destruction. He twisted the yoke violently, desparate to avoid the deadly shrapnel surging from the detonating hulk. The lights flickered as the engines chewed up the space borne remains of the ruined krait. They spluttered back into life. The ship was safe, they were safe."

yeah, it's a bit wordy but you get the angle I'm coming from yeah? Still doesn't detract from the fact in pretty much every other way your about three times better than me. :D

Anything or everything other than repetition, repetition says "I can't do" or even worse "I can't be assed to do".
User avatar
Cody
Sharp Shooter Spam Assassin
Sharp Shooter Spam Assassin
Posts: 16081
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:31 pm
Location: The Lizard's Claw
Contact:

Post by Cody »

That is what I meant by ‘nearly caused a rewrite’… if I had spent another week on it, I might have come up with something like that. It’s a very good example that you offer and it may well appear in another piece.

I cannot write lyrics like you though… the ‘Windmills of your Mind’ rehash is glorious.


Regards
I would advise stilts for the quagmires, and camels for the snowy hills
And any survivors, their debts I will certainly pay. There's always a way!
User avatar
pagroove
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 3035
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 11:52 pm
Location: On a famous planet

Post by pagroove »

Just finished Coyote. Excellent work Amigo!
For P.A. Groove's music check
https://soundcloud.com/p-a-groove
Famous Planets v 2.7. (for Povray)
Image
https://bb.oolite.space/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=13709
User avatar
Killer Wolf
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 2279
Joined: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:38 pm

Post by Killer Wolf »

i'm getting an error, says the file can't be repaired when Acro tried to open it? :-/
User avatar
Cody
Sharp Shooter Spam Assassin
Sharp Shooter Spam Assassin
Posts: 16081
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:31 pm
Location: The Lizard's Claw
Contact:

Post by Cody »

I can't explain that, KW... just checked and it opens fine (in Adobe Reader 9.3).
Anybody else had a problem?
I would advise stilts for the quagmires, and camels for the snowy hills
And any survivors, their debts I will certainly pay. There's always a way!
User avatar
Diziet Sma
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 6312
Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2009 12:20 pm
Location: Aboard the Pitviper S.E. "Blackwidow"

Post by Diziet Sma »

Works fine with Foxit Reader.
Most games have some sort of paddling-pool-and-water-wings beginning to ease you in: Oolite takes the rather more Darwinian approach of heaving you straight into the ocean, often with a brick or two in your pockets for luck. ~ Disembodied
User avatar
JazHaz
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 2991
Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:07 am
Location: Enfield, Middlesex
Contact:

Post by JazHaz »

Have added Coyote to the new Fan Fiction page on the Elite Wiki, which is linked to from the Oolite main website. :)

http://wiki.alioth.net/index.php/Catego ... te_stories
JazHaz

Gimi wrote:
drew wrote:
£4,500 though! :shock: <Faints>
Cheers,
Drew.
Maybe you could start a Kickstarter Campaign to found your £4500 pledge. 8)
Thanks to Gimi, I got an eBook in my inbox tonight (31st May 2014 - Release of Elite Reclamation)!
User avatar
Cody
Sharp Shooter Spam Assassin
Sharp Shooter Spam Assassin
Posts: 16081
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:31 pm
Location: The Lizard's Claw
Contact:

Post by Cody »

Thanks, JazHaz.
I would advise stilts for the quagmires, and camels for the snowy hills
And any survivors, their debts I will certainly pay. There's always a way!
User avatar
Cody
Sharp Shooter Spam Assassin
Sharp Shooter Spam Assassin
Posts: 16081
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:31 pm
Location: The Lizard's Claw
Contact:

Post by Cody »

JazHaz… did ‘Coyote’ get lost when the Wiki went down?
I would advise stilts for the quagmires, and camels for the snowy hills
And any survivors, their debts I will certainly pay. There's always a way!
User avatar
JazHaz
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 2991
Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:07 am
Location: Enfield, Middlesex
Contact:

Post by JazHaz »

El Viejo wrote:
JazHaz… did ‘Coyote’ get lost when the Wiki went down?
Must've done! :o Have put it back.
JazHaz

Gimi wrote:
drew wrote:
£4,500 though! :shock: <Faints>
Cheers,
Drew.
Maybe you could start a Kickstarter Campaign to found your £4500 pledge. 8)
Thanks to Gimi, I got an eBook in my inbox tonight (31st May 2014 - Release of Elite Reclamation)!
User avatar
Cody
Sharp Shooter Spam Assassin
Sharp Shooter Spam Assassin
Posts: 16081
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:31 pm
Location: The Lizard's Claw
Contact:

Post by Cody »

Thank you sir.
I would advise stilts for the quagmires, and camels for the snowy hills
And any survivors, their debts I will certainly pay. There's always a way!
Ganelon
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 534
Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2010 11:45 am
Location: Around Rabiarce or Lasoce

Post by Ganelon »

Excellent story, El Viejo. And it was the first time in many years that I listened to that Quicksilver Messenger Service album.

Brilliant story, and it sets such a mood!
User avatar
Dave McRoss
Dangerous
Dangerous
Posts: 104
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2010 9:28 am
Location: Italy, Tuscany
Contact:

Post by Dave McRoss »

Nice story, congrats :)
My ship list:

Cobra MK 3 - Lepka
Dragon M - Smaug
Python - Boa Pitonato
Cobra MK 3 - Lepka II
Now in a Python ET Special - Shark Panzer

[G5] -= Deadly =- (3720 Kills)
User avatar
CaptSolo
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 909
Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2011 10:08 pm
Location: Preying Manta
Contact:

Re: Coyote

Post by CaptSolo »

A truly wonderful story and a great read. Well Done El Viego.
User avatar
ClymAngus
---- E L I T E ----
---- E L I T E ----
Posts: 2514
Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:31 am
Location: London England
Contact:

Re:

Post by ClymAngus »

El Viejo wrote:
That is what I meant by ‘nearly caused a rewrite’… if I had spent another week on it, I might have come up with something like that. It’s a very good example that you offer and it may well appear in another piece.

I cannot write lyrics like you though… the ‘Windmills of your Mind’ rehash is glorious.


Regards
Why thank you, but please don't misunderstand me. I fully acknowledge that writing is kind of like sledging; We have to trudge back up hill to get to the fun parts! :)

You are right, it is an all or nothing kind of thing and if there is no passion for it then that becomes quite difficult to disguise in the writing. If you do have a span that your having difficulty with then I would be honoured if you would run it past me. I have found bouncing ideas of another interested party (but with you having ultimate editorial control) can be a fairly beneficial experience.

By the way I do have to say, from the small parts I have seen of it, it is a pleasure seeing Coyote, Udian and all the others interacting. Drew is writing all our collective character fetishes, masterfully.
Post Reply