Oolite Darwin Awards

[mossfoot]

Okay, I have to admit I thought of trying this the second I ran into jellyfish, can't believe it actually worked:

Today I ran into a big pirate pack shortly after spotting a jellyfish, and with very little fuel left. So I fled in the direction of the jellyfish as fast as I could without using the injectors, maneuvered to so that the pirates following me were going to go close as possible to the jellyfish, then flambeed it and hit the injectors as they were at their closest, had just enough fuel to get clear. I think two out of a dozen or so escaped.

No loot, but VERY satisfying...

I'd been considering that tactic to use at some point.

[Ranthe]

Not one of mine, but a rather hilarious video featuring the engagement of torus drive followed by "It looks like that's an asteroid field I'm going to fly through...

[Cmdr Nellers]

3 pirates tried to jump me as I came out of witchspace in some forgotten Anarchy. I took two of them down with the rear laser as I strung them out then turned and mullered the third head-to-head. Punching the air with the adrenaline rush post combat when I suddenly realised a fraction too late that those 4 cargo pods were blue, and spiralling in on me.

Press Space commander.

[Diziet Sma]

Hehehe..

4 missiles at once? You don't have Nexus Missiles installed, by any chance?

[Ranthe]

Today my alternate Commander, "Slippy" Jim Inskipp, learned an important lesson: Serpent-class cruisers are.... shall we say, "not physically compatible" with Astro Mine docking facilities, no matter how well-aligned the approach.

"Press Space, Commander."

[Diziet Sma]

From the Serpent Class Cruiser specs:

Size (metres WxHxL) 76.5m x 63m x 180m

Without being able to (easily) get precise data on an Astromine docking port, my guess is you're trying to fit a 63m high ship into a 64m high port. That would certainly require a delicate touch on the controls..

[Imaginos]

Timing is everything... Here's the proof... The other night I locked on to the docking buoy of a spacestation and thinking that I had plenty of time before I got close to it, I wandered off to the kitchen to put the kettle on. On the way back to my PC's desk I heard a massive crashing noise and returned to the familiar "Press Space Commander" message. Who would have thought that a little buoy could do so much damage to a Cobby?

[Smivs]

Who would have thought that a little buoy could do so much damage to a Cobby?

It's actually much bigger than a Cobby

[Diziet Sma]

If it's any consolation, your Cobby most likely also destroyed the buoy..

Hence the GRS BuoyRepair OXP, for all those times clumsy NPCs manage to take NavBuoys out..

[SteveKing]

A Gamut of Emoti(c)ons

…I’ll buy a towbar. Reckon I’ll make a bit‘v cash carting trash around the system…

…”Yeah, run away, that’ll teach you to pick on yer betters ”. Great, I get to try out the towbar. Cobra’s bound to be worth a bit back at the station Slide up nice and easy – auto connect, great – off we go at a nice steady pace, should only take a half-hour or so Hey! What’s that stuff breaking off my bit of salvage – oh damn, I can’t really stop to pick it up; manoeuvring with this great thing behind me is a bit crap Maybe I’ll just ease up a bit on the gas pedal and stuff won’t keep breaking off, perhaps I’ll be back before the Honest Jo’s Seconds shuts for the offcycle…

…”Oh hi guys, just doing my civic duty and dragging some junk back… What th’…! Hey guys, hang on a minute, I’ve got nothing but this piece of junk I’m towing!” Sh!t, I’d better get out of here fast, [engage injectors]. What the f*#&! Injectors offline ! F*#&! F*#&! Sh!t and F*#&! How do I disengage this thing ! Where’s the f*#&in’ manual! “Guys, please, I surrender ! I haven’t even heard of the Grammatian, Split f*#&in’ Infinitive Curse Eradication f*#&in’ Initiative, whatever it is ” Oh why didn’t I read the bl**dy manual “No, no, please don’t sh…”

Press Space Commander

[spud42]

Good one Steve...lol RTFM...

[Diziet Sma]

Good one Steve...

Seconded!

Thanks, Steve.. I got some good laughs out of that!

[Huntress]

I just delivered an important parcel, and am on my way back to Quandixe. After jumping to a nearby system, I decide to start cruising to the main station to buy some cheap food. About halfway their I notice some pirates approaching me. No sweat, I can easily take them out, I think. They start firing at me, so I line up my sights and let 'er rip... not. What the *beep* is going on!!!! Why aren't my *beep* lasers working!!!! I check to see if my weapons systems are online, look back at the screen, only to be greeted with...

... Press Space Commander

I look down at my keyboard, and realize I've been pressing the wrong button the whole time.

[Diziet Sma]

Heh.. nice little tale.. and one more reason I love my joystick.. it's kinda hard to pull the wrong trigger..

[Paladin Tux]

So one day I jumped into a system with my shiny just maintaneced cobra Mk III. Flew into a massive pack of pirates. Ike I thing it was 20+...
Now in the system before I turned off my weapons when docking because I had a little 'incident' the time before...
(Back to the pirates)
I thought that this would be the perfect time to use an energy bomb. So I did.
Didn't work.
Tab.
Didn't work.
Woop woop woop.
Uh oh...
Tab.
Tab.
Tab!
TAB!
(Explosion)
"Press Space Commander"

I went back to the save point and looked around my HUD.
'Weapon Systems offline'?
'Weapon Systems OFFLINE'!

*sigh*