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Status Quo, Chapter Eight (Final).
Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 12:54 pm
by drew
Edit : Individual chapters no longer available, but you can download the complete version
here
Kind of going to miss these characters. Always a little bitter sweet when you finish a story!
Comments and feedback as always!
Cheers,
Drew.
Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 2:35 pm
by Star Gazer
Yeah, very nice. A most enjoyable book!
Errors in this chapter:
Page 2:
better English= '
as equally important to...', rather than, 'equally as important...'
'...now,
rapidly looming larger on the viewer; they were seconds from impact. Jim knew that the bigger, heavily
shielded (?) Courier would survive...'
Page 4:
"What are you
doing
(?)?", Jim demanded.
Page 12:
"Lear
nt that from you."
Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 2:45 pm
by drew
Thanks!
Pages 4 and 14 changed. Tried the suggestion for page 2, appreciate the english isn't so good, but it's a bit harsher and I think it scans better how it is.
Glad you enjoyed.
Cheers,
Drew.
Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:06 pm
by CWolf
Fantastic, as mentioned in other post.
Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:33 pm
by Draco_Caeles
Star Gazer wrote:Jim knew that the bigger, heavily shielded (?) Courier would survive...'
There should be a
more in there. "... the bigger, more heavily shielded Courier would survive..."
Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:04 pm
by aegidian
You should get yourself a CafePress account and publish this as a paperback! I'd buy a copy.
Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:43 pm
by Selezen
Seriously, drew, fantastic work.
<gives standing ovation>
Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 8:04 am
by Rxke
Great job!
Although I had to re-read parts of the discussion with el presidente at the end, thought it was a bit confusing. But then again, I was tired when I read it, so YMMV...
Again: great job, I loved how each chapter could be a story in its own, almost, and yet make for a good cohesive story
Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 8:12 am
by drew
Thanks for all the feedback folks. I'll have a chat with Giles over the cafepress idea.
Rxke wrote:Great job!
Although I had to re-read parts of the discussion with el presidente at the end, thought it was a bit confusing. But then again, I was tired when I read it, so YMMV...
Again: great job, I loved how each chapter could be a story in its own, almost, and yet make for a good cohesive story
There were quite a few loose ends to tie up, and I was mindful of the events that would shortly follow in
Selezens chronology. There is a thargoid attack in 3149 where Galcop calls for aid, I thought I provide a rationale for this - the current President has some dialogue with the Imperials/Federals. There is THE major thargoid war in 3151 (Rebecca gets to 'Elite' as a result), and Galcop collapses in 3162-3170 - here I was trying to show that an attitude of corruption and intrigue was already growing like a cancer in Galcop as early as 3138 (high taxes, lack of police, poor security, covert ops, the military chief of staff acting unilaterally).
Then I had to provide a meaningful way for Rebecca and Jim to continue to live without being assassinated the very next morning, and get the Q-bomb 'into the open' in order for it to appear as it does in Oolite. There was also the issue that the Q-bomb doesn't appear in FE2/FFE, so it had to be removed by some future event - hence the 'Aesbion Conflict'... whatever that is!
<gasp!>
Cheers,
Drew.
Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 3:19 pm
by GoreLeech
what he said about CafePress.....iron out the typos and u could make a pretty penny off this...i kno ud have my money
Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:18 am
by drew
Giles and I are having a chat about this, trying to figure out what is doable and what is wise re copyright and derivation from 'Elite', and so on.
If you are interested in a 'hard copy' of this story please let me know via PM, so we can gauge interest.
Proceeds will go to the dev. and continuation of Oolite.
We'll keep you posted.
Many thanks,
Drew.
Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 12:35 pm
by jonnycuba
Bravo, a great Sunday afternoon read.
Thanks
Jonny
Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 4:51 pm
by Draco_Caeles
aegidian wrote:You should get yourself a CafePress account and publish this as a paperback! I'd buy a copy.
I'd recommend Lulu over CafePress. Lulu has more flexible printing options than CP.
I'll happily offer my services as proofreader, editor and/or designer... having done all three and with some small experience in the biz...
Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 2:30 am
by Commodore Sics D'fore
Congrats on wrapping it up well. Cool stuff.