...With apologies to Blood Bowl, Police Squad et al, and indeed anyone reading this
...
"Hi there sports fans! Have we got a game for you today! I'm your host
{
Jim Johnson /
Sasquatch Beeblebrox /
Scarily Endearing /
Nick Nickson /
Strangely Trance-inducing}
and with me today is
{
five times zero-G all star /
ace hall of famer /
the man my ex-wife left me for /
my co host and friend /
the most famous frog in sports}
{
Bob Bifford /
Lance Chinstrong /
Rick Dangerous /
Arg Fargle Nargle Bargle /
Tony De Wonderful}!
Thanks [Jim / Nick / etc},
{
it's a pleasure to be here /
it's great to be here /
it promises to be quite a game /
and boy, what an occasion! /
if ever there was a game you'd need a change of underwear for, this is it!}
It sure is {Bob / Lance / Arg / etc},
we've got the
{
Stellar Steamrollers /
Galactic Giants /
Solar Saboteurs /
Gravitic Greats /
Meteoric Mastodons /
Supermassive Strikers /
Megaton Masters}
versus the
{
Orbital Overlords /
Cosmic Crusaders /
Comet Crushers /
Old Oligarchs /
Astro Avengers /
Atomic Angels}
and I for one
{
can hardly wait /
am like a feline in catnip /
wish I was playing in this one /
am expecting carnage /
have just soiled my pants}
for what promises to be
{
a titanic match-up /
a gripping contest /
a total waste of time /
an epic struggle /
grown men acting like kids and crying like babies}"
etc. etc. etc.
That might be what you get if you dock and 'see' the game but if you were just cruising by (not docked), you might hear the odd snippet like:
"Ooooh! Right in the asteroids..."
"That's gotta hurt Jim."
"What a play! The opposition didn't see that one coming."
"They sure didn't, Nick"
"It's like Adders against Thargoids out there Bob"
"The crowd's going wild, Rick."
"They haven't seen action like this since that holo-vid was leaked of me with your wife, Jim..."
"...That's right, I do have the same name as my wife"
"And the referee says NO!!!...
The players are questioning the call, the coaches are questioning the robo-linesmen
...and the crowd appear to be questioning the referee's ancestry..."
"Ian Bell, David Braben, Commander Jameson, Rebecca Weston, Alex Ryder, your boys took one HELL of a beating..."
What do you think? Just a quick pass but I could remove some of the (ahem...) 'humour'
and it shouldn't be too difficult to edit for anyone who could open a file...
Of course, I 'd have to learn how to write the thing first
, so don't hold your breath...
)
