"Banned from Diso" (a probable Oolite drinking song :-) )
Posted: Sat May 18, 2013 3:53 am
"Banned from Diso" (or Zaonce, Riedquat...)
An Oolite-ified version of “Banned from Argo” by Leslie Fish
* * *
1. We docked at Diso station in dire need of R&R,
The crew set out investigating every joint and bar.
We had high expectations of their hospitality,
But found too late it wasn't geared for spacers such as we.
Chorus: And we're banned from Diso, everyone.
Banned from Diso, just for having a little fun.
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four,
But Diso doesn't want us any more.
2. The Captain's tastes were simple, but her methods were complex.
We found her with five partners, each of a different world and sex.
She came back with no uniform and an oddly cheerful heart,
And a painful way of walking - with her feet a yard apart.
3. Our Engineer would yield to none at putting down the brew;
He out-drank seven space marines and a full GalNavy crew.
The Navigator didn't win, but to the end he stayed,
And now an Adder's tightly wedged in Diso's docking bay.
4. Our First Officer from Sotiqu was drugged with something green,
And hauled into a Jeffrey's Tube, where he suffered things obscene.
He sobered up in Sickbay and he's none the worse for wear,
Except he's somehow taught the ship's computer how to swear.
5. Our Cook – he is a peaceful man; his private life is quiet.
But Security arrested him for inciting whores to riot.
We found him in the station brig, paid bail and set him free,
Intact except for hickeys – and six kinds of VD.
6. Our Quartermaster loves his pets; his pets all love him too.
He took a couple with him and we wondered what they'd do,
'Til the commander of the station called and swore upon his life
That a mass of Trumbles filled his rooms and then seduced his wife!
7. Our Communications Officer won a ship-wide bet
By hacking into Diso Station's communications net.
Now every time someone calls up on an Diso telescreen,
The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen.
8. A gang of Thargoids landed, and nobody seemed to care.
They stamped into the nearest bar to announce that they were there.
Half our crew was busy there, and invited them to play,
But the Thargoids only looked at us, and turned and ran away.
9. Our crew's not GalCop's finest, it's not something that we hide,
And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide.
We're sorry about the wreckage and the riots and the fuss;
At least we're sure that Diso won't be quick forgetting us!
An Oolite-ified version of “Banned from Argo” by Leslie Fish
* * *
1. We docked at Diso station in dire need of R&R,
The crew set out investigating every joint and bar.
We had high expectations of their hospitality,
But found too late it wasn't geared for spacers such as we.
Chorus: And we're banned from Diso, everyone.
Banned from Diso, just for having a little fun.
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four,
But Diso doesn't want us any more.
2. The Captain's tastes were simple, but her methods were complex.
We found her with five partners, each of a different world and sex.
She came back with no uniform and an oddly cheerful heart,
And a painful way of walking - with her feet a yard apart.
3. Our Engineer would yield to none at putting down the brew;
He out-drank seven space marines and a full GalNavy crew.
The Navigator didn't win, but to the end he stayed,
And now an Adder's tightly wedged in Diso's docking bay.
4. Our First Officer from Sotiqu was drugged with something green,
And hauled into a Jeffrey's Tube, where he suffered things obscene.
He sobered up in Sickbay and he's none the worse for wear,
Except he's somehow taught the ship's computer how to swear.
5. Our Cook – he is a peaceful man; his private life is quiet.
But Security arrested him for inciting whores to riot.
We found him in the station brig, paid bail and set him free,
Intact except for hickeys – and six kinds of VD.
6. Our Quartermaster loves his pets; his pets all love him too.
He took a couple with him and we wondered what they'd do,
'Til the commander of the station called and swore upon his life
That a mass of Trumbles filled his rooms and then seduced his wife!
7. Our Communications Officer won a ship-wide bet
By hacking into Diso Station's communications net.
Now every time someone calls up on an Diso telescreen,
The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen.
8. A gang of Thargoids landed, and nobody seemed to care.
They stamped into the nearest bar to announce that they were there.
Half our crew was busy there, and invited them to play,
But the Thargoids only looked at us, and turned and ran away.
9. Our crew's not GalCop's finest, it's not something that we hide,
And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide.
We're sorry about the wreckage and the riots and the fuss;
At least we're sure that Diso won't be quick forgetting us!
