Oolite Bulletins

Your like the Pablo Escobar of oolite.

I was trading radioactives, then I got high.
I was farming out furs and food, then I got high.
now I'm a fugitive floating in a remlock....
and I know why....
Why man?
Cos I got high, cos I got high, cos I got high;
Ba da dat dat da da..


(hang on, your manifest says you have no passengers. What about the 3 blitzed babes in bikinis (one of them insectoid (lightly disturbing)), the giant megaweed chewing caterpillar and the 8 armed robot bong?? Oh, CREW. I see.)

ClymAngus wrote:

Your like the Pablo Escobar of oolite.

I was trading radioactives, then I got high.
I was farming out furs and food, then I got high.
now I'm a fugitive floating in a remlock....
and I know why....
Why man?
Cos I got high, cos I got high, cos I got high;
Ba da dat dat da da..


(hang on, your manifest says you have no passengers. What about the 3 blitzed babes in bikinis (one of them insectoid (lightly disturbing)), the giant megaweed chewing caterpillar and the 8 armed robot bong?? Oh, CREW. I see.)

<falls of chair>


Oxp suggestion: stoned pilots!

oxp, hell. Novella, Cheech and chong in space, with a touch of fear and loathing in Las Vagas, Jay and silent bob guest starring Hesperus.
A sprawling space opera, emphasis on the sprawled.

So, stoned pilots suggestion: Float around a planet aimed permanently at the perpetual sunset, watching the sun go up and down over the horizon as they speed up and slow down, depending on which part of the orb track their listening to. Anyone asks them what their doing they FrEak, flush their stash and fly at the station, completely oblivious to the fact their aimed at the "closed end."

Could be quite amusing.

Crewman "Thargoids, Man!"
Captain "Uh, what?"
Crewman "Wow, Thargoids, lots of them. Heavy!"
Captain "Yeah, un-cool."
Crewman "Should we try to do something, dude?"
Captain "Yeah, I've got the munchies, lets find some chocolate."
Crewman "Far out!"

Engineer: Their all green! So horribly GREEN!
Captain: What? Who are?
Engineer: The Targs!
Captain: What thargs? If your trying to freak me out, I'm cutting your megaweed with stimu-dust man.
Engineer: Can't do that.
Captain: I'm the Captain <schurp, ahooooo> I'll do what I want.
Engineer: I ready snorted all the stimu-dust.
Captain: The ENTIRE crate?
Engineer: I.....Willll.....Ne-ve-r.... sleeeeeeeeep aggggaaaaiin. Green GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeEN! AHHHHHH! Must. murph, Preen. shuf, Off. auch, All. mmmm, My. theph! Feathers. Filthy, filthy oil!
Captain: oh sket, she's plucking again <sign> where are the hyper-tranq rounds?

ClymAngus wrote:

Engineer: Their all green! So horribly GREEN!
Captain: What? Who are?
Engineer: The Targs!
Captain: What thargs? If your trying to freak me out, I'm cutting your megaweed with stimu-dust man.
Engineer: Can't do that.
Captain: I'm the Captain <schurp, ahooooo> I'll do what I want.
Engineer: I ready snorted all the stimu-dust.
Captain: The ENTIRE crate?
Engineer: I.....Willll.....Ne-ve-r.... sleeeeeeeeep aggggaaaaiin. Green GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeEN! AHHHHHH! Must. murph, Preen. shuf, Off. auch, All. mmmm, My. theph! Feathers. Filthy, filthy oil!
Captain: oh sket, she's plucking again <sign> where are the hyper-tranq rounds?

Want a screenshot of this!

Ready to fly!

Kumar: "Lave. LavE. Did you ever just listen to the word, man?"
Harold: "Wut?"
Kumar: "Laaaaaave."
Harold: "Hey, there's a dragon out there, covered in stars..."
Kumar: "LaaaaaaaaaaaVeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeE!"
Harold: "Dude, I can totally hear you speaking in capitals."
Kumar: "Lahveeeee. Hehehehehe."
Lave Station: "I say again, this is Lave Coriolis 1, your clearance to land is granted."
Kumar: "C O R I O L I S... Wow..."

Will somebody turn these into radio comms please - they're brilliant...

DaddyHoggy wrote:

Will somebody turn these into radio comms please - they're brilliant...

Hear, hear! But we need more!

Captain. "Where's Bill?"
No1. "In the hold...he's checking out the pod of Narcs we scooped."
Capatain. "Oh hell! Last time he 'checked out' some Narcs he opened the bloody airlock by mistake! Can you check the internal hatch is shut?"
No1. "No it's open, hold on....Bill, NO!!!!"
Suck-Whoooooooooosh!

Cdr Stone: "Dude, the lasers are fried."
SubCdr Weed: "Make 'pyow pyow' noises when you pull the trigger, that'll do the same thing."
Cdr Stone: "Wow, yeah good thinking. Where's Kyle?"
Cdr Weed: "He's been sitting on the hull staring at the exhaust plume for three hours now."
Cdr Stone: "Kyle, man, you OK?"
Kyle: "Bloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopurplebloooooooooooooooooo!"
Cdr Weed: "Hey, have you ever wondered where the phrase 'shits and giggles' came from?"

CommonSenseOTB wrote:

Oxp suggestion: stoned pilots!

how about stoned bombs? Dark Star reference!

Split for maximum entertainment.

crewman. "S**t man, where the hell are we?"
captain. "wow, that's cool!"
crewman. "weren't we in another thread a minute ago?"
captain. "far out, this stuff's good!"
crewman. "gimme some more...This is so cool! Let's see if we can get to Outworld."