Oolite Bulletins

Pleb wrote:

Google's evil minions sucking the internet dry until they know everything about everything and everyone... Perhaps we need to spray them with some of this:


Bye bye Google [Bot]!

Well, I for one welcome our new arachnid overlords ... To be fair, without Google's spiders roaming around the web, people wouldn't be able to find anything. Which would kind of defeat the purpose of the internet.

With technology companies, I always apply the Singularity rule: what would/will they be like if/when they achieve sentience and destroy civilisation as we know it? My list runs like this:

Google: probably V'Ger. Vast, world-consuming, but basically just curious/aggressively nosy. A tendency to digitise what it destroys.
Microsoft: the Borg. Specifically, the late-on crap Borg, easily defeated with a set of bathroom scales and a kirby grip.
Apple: BSG remake Cylons. Sleek, smooth, beautiful, inhuman, fanatic, deadly.
Facebook: Skynet. Remorseless, skull-crushing, responsible for global thermonuclear annihilation. Steel teeth in a rictus grin under a fake human exterior.

Smivs wrote:

You know I can't understand why anyone would want to kill spiders! Do they want to be over-run wih flies? And anyway what would cats do without spiders to amuse them?

I agree, my fiancé makes me kill spiders all the time and it annoys me as they do no harm and eat all the insects. I have suggested a cat but I think she'd prefer the spiders!

Disembodied wrote:

Well, I for one welcome our new arachnid overlords ... To be fair, without Google's spiders roaming around the web, people wouldn't be able to find anything. Which would kind of defeat the purpose of the internet.

With technology companies, I always apply the Singularity rule: what would/will they be like if/when they achieve sentience and destroy civilisation as we know it? My list runs like this:

Google: probably V'Ger. Vast, world-consuming, but basically just curious/aggressively nosy. A tendency to digitise what it destroys.
Microsoft: the Borg. Specifically, the late-on crap Borg, easily defeated with a set of bathroom scales and a kirby grip.
Apple: BSG remake Cylons. Sleek, smooth, beautiful, inhuman, fanatic, deadly.
Facebook: Skynet. Remorseless, skull-crushing, responsible for global thermonuclear annihilation. Steel teeth in a rictus grin under a fake human exterior.

Haha, true but it doesn't justify things like Google StreetView being used by Google's developers to collect people's credit card details...

Pleb wrote:

Haha, true but it doesn't justify things like Google StreetView being used by Google's developers to collect people's credit card details...

That's so they know how many GooglePoints you should have in your account when they upload your mind. It's all perfectly innocent. And I'm sure they won't punish those who say bad things about them, even though they can hear our thoughts. Google is our friend!

They won't appreciate this then! But wouldn't be surprised if when I went home my house has been burnt down...

These aren't the droids you're looking for. Please move along...

Pleb wrote:

Commander McLane wrote:

What? With a measly 3.71 posts per day? Nay, not even close!

4.01 posts a day...with each post on this forum I grow stronger... *cue Imperial March music*

Pleb wrote:

4.01 posts a day...with each post on this forum I grow stronger...

Hmm... seems like we may need to appoint a fluff assassin!

El Viejo wrote:

Pleb wrote:

4.01 posts a day...with each post on this forum I grow stronger...

Hmm... seems like we may need to appoint a fluff assassin!

Trouble is, old chap, you and I would be amongst his first victims!

The Rules of Fluff #1: never answer two queries in one post - three posts should suffice.

<nods>

Rule #2 - always nod/chortle/chuckle/grin/smile at the previous post

<smirks>

Rule #3: When you discover that you have been ninja'ed prior to publishing your post, never refrain from publishing. Duly comment that you have been ninja'ed and publish with a smile.

<grins>