Oolite Bulletins

The '''Doge''' of the '''Celestial Republic of Tibecea''' is selected for life by the '''Noble Council''', a collection of several hundred scions of nobility, whose families are listed in the '''Sable Onomasticon''', the black book of barons. The election on the Death of the Old Doge is performed using a strict form of ''proportional representation'': the number of votes each scion casts is directly proportional to the amount of land inherited from the grandparents. The Doge then selects the ''Minor Council'' (including the Doge, the eight Overseers of the Octant, the magistrates, the trinity of Senior Sacerdotes of the Church of Giles the Creator and the current Poet Laureate) who will rule the system.

The title of the ''Celestial Republic'' (La Celestialissima) may seem a tad incongruous as a description of a snowball in space. The name derives from the unparalleled views which existed on settlement, when the views through the clear skies of the heavens above outmatched anything that the new settlers had previously seen. As the settlement extended and the industrial smog grew and grew, obscuring the views of the skies, the people never really noticed, ensconced as they were in their underground redoubts. Yet the name remained, to perplex inquisitive visitors.

The '''palazzi''' of the aristocracy are quite unusual, and not just in their troglodytic location. Each Palazzo is a little city in itself. It is grouped around the smokestacks, leading up from the lowest part of the palace. Clustered around the warming chimneys are the principal rooms of the noble family - the state rooms, arrayed with objets d'art, designed to impress the visitors and imbue a sense of dignity amongst the blue-blooded inhabitants. Above are the storerooms, where the goods manufactured by the dynastic factories are stored before sale and transportation. Beneath the staterooms are the manufactories themselves, where the fires burn incessantly and the machinery creates the products for sale. Further away from the chimneys are the living quarters of the dependents, as well as the storerooms filled with the raw materials. Melted ice from the surrounds of the smokestack above is funneled down to provide fresh water, and with the growth of hydroponics, more and more food is now grown within the palazzi themselves.

The Church of Giles the Creator is the established religion on Tibecea. Other expressions of religion do indeed exist - a handful of the noble houses have either different or split allegiances in this regard. The main Cathedral is the other end of the planet from the Doge's Palazzo, to restrain the Sacerdotes from interfering in matters of politics. It contains a deep river running through the cathedral where the Blessed Barque is moored in front of the High Altar and the Sacerdotal Throne. This is naturally an old-style cathedral (newer styles have the Blessed Barque much closer to the entrance). The walnut of the barque was imported at great expense from Bemaera. Festooned with Ivory and Walnut, the cathedral is deep underground and entry is forbidden to infidels.

The '''Edible Poet Society''' was founded by Ianbello degli Sciolti some three centuries ago. It is now one of the most prestigious guilds of Tibecea - one of the '''Grande Agglomerazione'''. They march third in the Grand Parade behind the Holy Society of Saint Jens and the Society of the Gifted Artesans. Their banner is the Scarlet Standard of Stylistics, and they appear in sable pelts bedecked with ivory canopies. Rediscovering the ekphrastic enjambments of bygone eras, the Society has been shattering modern stereotypes with their imaginative reworkings of traditional set pieces. The Commendatore of the Society is usually chosen as the Poet Laureate.

The leading guild, the '''Societa del Santo Jens''', is actually the association of pall bearers. The members of the Society under the watchful eye of their patron saint, prepare the deceased for their final voyage with the Blessed Boatman on the Blessed Barque. The embalming, wrapping and myriad meditations performed over the deceased are done with great solemnity and dignity. The members of the society are treated with great honour by those who encounter them on the rare occasions that they are encountered outside their guildhouse. They usually wear ivory masks with the stylised features of Saint Giles engraved upon them.

Every fifth Hundredth Day there is a snowball competition between the denizens of the Eight Octants. The populace, dressed in their traditional fur coats, assemble at the lower plateau of Mount Ahruman. As they watch, the regional champions roll a large snowball up the lower slopes of the Mountain, accumulating mass as they roll. It is not unknown for the opposition to secretly ice part of the slopes, in the hope that the opposing champions will slip and be crushed beneath their snowball as it reverses and makes its way back down the slope. The largest snowball to make it to the top wins the championship (within the time specified by the Knucklebones of Negation) and the regional roller is feted on the triumphant return to their octant. It is not unknown for fights to occur when matters look as though they have been manipulated in one interest or another, and the death toll can run into the dozens.

It is also not uncommon for the Minor Council to purposefully arrange for a snowball competition for visiting dignitaries, to provide sport and honour them with a spectacle. The last such was the visit of Sir Cody (Bart.) of El Viejo O.O.O.O. (Officer of the Order of the Opulent Ooniverse) with his boon companion Lord Milo of Maregeis, Grand Knight Commander of the Beatific Order of the Besters of the Barbaric Bots. That snowball competition lasted for three hours and witnessed 39 deaths (three by defenestration), eighty-seven shattered limbs and forty-four broken ribs. It was widely acclaimed as one of the best such spectacles for several decades.

stranger wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 11:42 pm

It will be nice to see Rough Guide revival!
You have poetic vision, Cholmondely!

The Church of Giles the Creator is the established religion on Tibecea. Other expressions of religion do indeed exist - a handful of the noble houses have either different or split allegiances in this regard. The main Cathedral is the other end of the planet from the Doge's Palazzo, to restrain the Sacerdotes from interfering in matters of politics. It contains a deep river running through the cathedral where the Blessed Barque is moored in front of the High Altar and the Sacerdotal Throne. This is naturally an old-style cathedral (newer styles have the Blessed Barque much closer to the entrance). The walnut of the barque was imported at great expense from Bemaera. Festooned with Ivory and Walnut, the cathedral is deep underground and entry is forbidden to infidels.

The '''Edible Poet Society''' was founded by Ianbello degli Sciolti some three centuries ago. It is now one of the most prestigious guilds of Tibecea - one of the '''Grande Agglomerazione'''. They march third in the Grand Parade behind the Holy Society of Saint Jens and the Society of the Gifted Artesans. Their banner is the Scarlet Standard of Stylistics, and they appear in sable pelts bedecked with ivory canopies. Rediscovering the ekphrastic enjambments of bygone eras, the Society has been shattering modern stereotypes with their imaginative reworkings of traditional set pieces. The Commendatore of the Society is usually chosen as the Poet Laureate.

Hotels and Hostels

The renowned Palazzo Disieti is without doubt the most luxurious hotel on Tibecea, renowned amongst the epicures. The Disieti died of assassination a half century ago, and their palace was taken over by cousins who had no use for it. The entrance hall is of polished black marble, lit by silver chandeliers and surrounded by silver mirrors, reflecting the light back to the centre of the hall. The ceiling was painted by Arbuthnot of Digebiti, and represents the heavens immediately above at the time of painting. Tianve's famous pulsar can just be made out with the unaided eye, as can Ceesxe. The bar is festooned with gap-toothed baturas painted on the walls and ceilings. Their Lethal Brandy Libation is justly renowned - and has travelled far around The Eight from its original home. The dining salon is justly renowned for its Zuppa della Zucca, a gourd potage with a heavenly aroma and small succulent globes of pungent duthri mushrooms sauteed in brandy & cream bobbing just below the surface. Their famous Gourmet's Garden contains a casserole of delectable root vegetables mixed with the barely glutinous yolks of thrivta eggs topped with a sour cream and dill dressing. One needs to give a days notice to enjoy the Gourmet's Garden, as the vegetables need be picked and then lengthily marinaded to assure the appropriate sapidity. As for the puddings ...
For those slumming it, the Caverns of Rudolpho are well worth a visit. Based in the coal scuttles of an ancient factory, the ceilings have been removed from the bedrooms leaving a massive layer of ice between one's bed and the skies above. The light that filters through the thick translucent ice can be quite haunting, as the obscurity of the ice confers a spectral sheen which seems to permeate the rooms. The chutes which used to feed the lower furnaces from these upper scuttles have been rather solidly blocked up with coal, making an interesting talking point. The tea is quite appalling.

Cuisine

The local ice-wine is well worth trying. Try to avoid that from the eastern vineyards as the placement of many is rather too close to the notorious suburbs of Murghero, whose smoke stacks stain the air for leagues around, hampering the light reaching the leaves of the bines.
As well as the justly renowned Zucca mentioned above, the local truffle - la marquesa - which is carefully grown in insulated orchards on the slopes of the Cimorrisian mountain range has an aroma which is treasured. One can see local grandmothers carefully inspecting the tubers in the local markets, sniffing them to see which is best.
Following the legendary Italian excellence in preparing coffee, the local coffee is well worth trying. Note that prices are considerably cheaper if you do not drink the coffee inside the coffee house.

Places to visit

Apart from the New Cathedral and the Doges' Palace (entrance can be negotiated with the Ducal Guard for a price), the Guild Hall of the Society of Orphans is on every discerning visitor's list. A minor guild, it harboured Francesco della Rindola, a famous sculptor whose works grace many of the palaces in The Eight. He carved twenty-seven of the doges from polished sandstone, with a breath-taking command of fine details and nuance. One can almost see the whiskers of Doge Alberto III quiver in the icy winds above! The Guild Hall contains all of della Rindola's ducal originals, which can be viewed for a modest sum which goes to the upkeep of the current orphans.

Also of note is the maze of Adolpho. Set in an immense underground hall, supported by hewn pillars with barleytwist columns and vegetative capitals interspersed with lamps of a verdant hue, the hedges, bridges and streams of the maze provide hours of enjoyment (or frustration!) for those that delve to find its inner secrets. At the very middle is a platinum tower from where one can look down and see the paths unravelled before one's very eyes. Every threeday a band stands on the lower crenellations playing popular favourites. Coffee from the Doge's favourite variety is available at the summit of the tower.

Hotels and Hostels

If you have the money - and the time to spare, you might wish to consider hiring an artisan's room in one of the smaller towns. Run as small business by the locals, and dedicated to excellence, local cuisine, and sumptuary accomodation, these dwellings are highly individual and independent of the grasping conglomerates. You will probably find yourself in a suite with a six-poster bath, surrounded by hand-carved furniture and hand-crafted gee-gaws. The meals are an introduction to the very best of feline gastronomy, and if you have the interest you can enjoy bespoke masterclasses in the local craftshops.

On the other hand, if your timing is right (ie you arrive during the university vacations) you can rent a room in the student halls for a moderate sum. Central to all the major "attractions", you should be able to saunter everywhere in your city centre with ease and assurance.

Cuisine

Do you enjoy catnip? If not, you will find it difficult to find many dishes that you can tolerate (unless you are lucky with your chef!). The local liquers, on the other hand, have much to offer. Sadly, they seem not to travel well, but the local versions of Thrumpberry brandy contains redolences which the more usual varieties eschew. There are also two local varieties of rum which are worth savouring: Thristian's Dark Surprise and Qleo's Elixer of Eternity. The last should be sipped sparingly, as otherwise the more delicate flavours will escape the palate.

Places to visit

If you do not have cats' eyes, avoid the temptations of taking a ride through the roiling grime to gape at the murky rays reflected far beneath, however much your guide cajoles you. And keep away from the Hall of Heralds unless you have enough feline friends to enable you to distinguish between them - or you enjoy a penchant for staring at dozens of identical statues.

On the other hand, the Librarial Stacks of the University of Murraor on Braathnir do have something of interest to offer. Their high-vaulted hallways with carved wooden balconies clinging precariously to the walls and filled with dozens of students researching recondite assignments and conferring feverishly on matters of academic import is a sight of some interest. If you are lucky, you may even spot one take down and open one of the ancient tomes lining the shelves! And if you are really lucky, you might even see the student read it! The radiators were designed by Creecha and assume a circular shape, sticking up from the floor like a sort of pustulent boil bristling with flanges. Some of the displayed volumes have gilt edges painted with landscapes (seascapes?) of the historic cities of Zarece, which can only be discerned on the fore-edge if the spine of the book is twisted to splay the pages.

Likewise, the marketplaces of Owmrah can be most entertaining on the occasion of a riot, when the lobstoids can be seen running with their banners and pendants through the streets with a screeching mob of cats on their heels, demanding redress for scandalous assertions and disregard for local mores.

Warning
Beware pickpockets! Theft has burgeoned since the last edition of our guide, and one really must take care now when walking through city streets and crowded areas.

Qutiri (Rough Guide)

Economic status: Rich Industrial
Technology level: 9
Population: 3.5 Billion Yellow Fat Felines
Political status: Multi Government
Radius: 5420 km
G: 0.90 standard
Neighbors: Aronar, Ontiat, Tionisla, Zaonce, Isinor, Bemaera

“Qutiri offers space travelers a sight to behold. Magnificent mountain ranges and enormous glaciers cover the planet. Climate is cold but drinking Lethal brandy in the Bleu Ice caves of the Capital Qitroomax or climbing Mount Tironos under a bright cold night sky are things that you will never forget. The yellow felines of Qutiri have adapted their skin to the cold climate ”

There are some dozen or so large countries on Qutiri. While they rarely wage war on each other, they do not tend to see eye-to-eye on very much, and thus do not supplement the police patrols in the heavens above. The most interesting are probably the rather small Bishopric of the Straits, the Empire of Rrowthiessa and the Republic of Maar.

The bishopric of the straits does indeed cover a modest geographic area, but attracts pilgrims from far and wide. As part of the Church of the Holy Witchspace Guard it is the home of the famed Straits Seminary whose students (who also come from far and wide!) have won renown as debaters and hair-splitters par excellence. Indeed, many have, on quitting Qutiri, and on losing the edge of their religious fervour, become famous as attorneys throughout the Eight. Their debating competitions are justly famed, and tickets to them can be had for a reasonable sum. The Grand Cathedral is known throughout the Church. Made of an ice which sparkles in the sunrise with a lustrous hue, it contains the shrine of Saint Sudionarru who was put to death by the Dynasts of Tarradon for refusing to pay homage to their bizarre deities. His catafalque is located to the right of the main entrance, and is embellished with pink granite. The structural integrity of the cathedral is protected against earthquakes by a skeleton of transparent fibres running through the walls. Unlike most of the rest of the Qutirian states, the bishopric is not the seat of heavy industry, but rather a devout bastion of the faith.

Map of Quitiri

The empire (one of three on the surface of the planet) is also known outside the system - for its musical genius. Emperor Proerow III was enamoured of the zither and set up the Conservatoire of Tironos (just north of the mountain's foothills) to burnish excellence in its playing. The academy has provided several Zither maestri, and its midnight open-air performances have won wide acclaim from the fur-wrapped afficionados who come to admire the expertise of the players. The small workshop in the grounds of the conservatoire is best avoided - problems with supply of decent woods have eternally plagued it since its inception, and the quality of the product has always been compromised accordingly.

The imperial capital, Browiea, is just to the west of the conservatoire, between it and the Imperial Spaceport. The palace has a mosaic facade (in a state of constant repair) which displays the historic victories of the Rrowthiessan Dragoons over their various enemies. The techniques are still taught at the local military academy, but seem to have little application outside Qutiri. As well as the concert halls, the Green Groves of Ssri are of interest to the casual visitor. The setting, with lines of trees fading into the distance with Mount Tironos looming over the statues of the old emperors, has a certain haunting beauty. Local purveyors of warmed wines walk the pathways, selling their wares, and occasional dramas can be seen in the sunken rubberised amphitheatre in the centre of the grounds (warming cushions can be hired for the performance).

The Browwn University of Browiea is of great historic importance. When the felines of Reorte settled Qutiri some one and a half thousand years ago, they needed to adapt to the local clime. Whilst the then Browwn faculty of technology did wonders in terms of compensating for the temperature (and the colonisers came ready equipped with a certain attitude towards earthquakes!), it was Professor Pryaan of the faculty of genetic excellence who developed the necessary tweaks to enable full adaptation to be made, although this involved the fur turning from black to yellow. The refusal on the part of some to do this led to the first major secessions from the ancient confederal seat of power at Qitroomax, and contributed considerably to the quibbling character of Qutiri politics.

There is a famous epic saga describing Groiilior the Black, who as the last of her clutch to retain the colder black coat of ancestral Reorte, was abhorred by her parents and siblings, and eventually fled into the mountain wastes wrapped in her minks, and encountered all sorts of blood-stirring adventures as she climbed up and down the glaciers, camouflaged in her white-green furs. Even today parents warn their cubs to behave or risk being attacked by the invisible black cat of the icy wastes.

The Republic of Maar is an aristocracy. Only the blue bloods get to vote for the Overlord, who rules with the advice of the Bishop of the Straits, just to the north. The capital, Owrosstos, was riven by an earthquake half a millennium ago, and the city has since developed on either side of the rift itself, making its way down into the depths. Crossed at regular intervals by swaying rope-bridges, the local aristocrats maintain palaces hewn into the rift walls, with elaborate entrance halls lined with statues and sculptures, sourced from all over the Eight. Almost all are open to visitors for a consideration (paid to the under-butler): both the Blue Palace and the Obsidian Manse are particularly lavish.

The Capital Qitroomax is located within the Republic, but maintains a separate identity. The historic meeting place of the squabbling states which constitute the so-called confederacy, their incessant quarreling not only has prevented any serious development of the site, but has also inhibited GalCop from classifying Qutiri as a true confederacy. Qitroomax is really a slum-town, and their vaunted Grand Council House is quite dilapidated.


Hotels and Hostels

The Seminary of the Heavens in the Bishopric of the Straits (not the Seminary of the Straits mentioned above, but one of several others) has some very expensive guest suites for visiting dignitaries. Not only is the setting quite unique, but access can be had to the sacred observatory with its golden orreries, platinum telescopes, and ornate wall and floor maps. A very nice setting for elevenses, it must be said. The chapel also is rather unique - and the student choirs maintain a constant paean of praise to the Primordial Principles.

To continue the musical motif, the Hotel of the Harmonies in Browniea is situated directly opposite the conservatoire. The hotel has access to several of the boxes in the concert halls and there is either an unaccompanied zitherist or a quintet playing daily in the hotel lobby from lunchtime onwards. The cocktail bar is most pleasant - the crystal chandeliers which are quite spectacular were sourced in the local mountain range. The carvings of the florettes are a good example of Fin-de-Siecle Ochre Imperial style.

The Mansion of Blethisna in Owrosstos is not actually in the rift, but on the northern side of town, surrounded by conifer groves. Once the winter hunting palace of an earlier overlord, it has been restored and equipped with every conceivable modern aide to comfort and enjoyment. The restaurant is famous and patronised by many of the local aristocracy. Do try the marinaded Qutirian Trumble - quite unlike the Trumble on the stick which is so popular on Lave. And the sommelier maintains a most excellent cellar, as one would expect.

The Pits in Owrosstos are at the other end of the hospitality spectrum. At the bottom of the rift, with detritus falling down from the upper levels, the pits are nevertheless quite secure seismically speaking. Some of the patrons are quite uncouth, and one should not be found in a state of inebriation during one's stay as calamitous consequences may well ensue. Several of the wall carvings are said to date back to the time of settlement, but they are hardly to be regarded as works of art.

Cuisine

While on Qutiri, it would be a great shame not to avail of the range of roasted meats on offer. Many are marinaded - as attested to by the trumble mentioned above. The range of sauces is quite staggering, a rainbow of hues with variegated flavours to match. Avoid blue - the piquancy of the spices is not for non-Qutiri palates. Your wine waiter will be able to advise on the most suitable beverages.

Places to visit

There are three 'musts' while you are on-planet. The first are the blue ice-caves just east of Qitroomax. While the scintillating social soirees of yore are a thing of the past, the caves still retain a certain grandeur. The central cave has been equipped with a modern bar and to drink Lethal Brandy surrounded by the shimmering sapphire stalactites is atmospheric to say the least.

If you are in the Empire, and staying in the capital, one can hire an ornithopter to take one up the slopes of Mount Tironos for a jaunt. Guides can be hired for a reasonable sum, and some of the walks are very spectacular, especially when the Borealis is evident. The weaving walls of translucent folds have caused many a poet to swoon.

Shopping for duelling pistols is the final 'must'. These intricate works of craft are made of precious metals and enamelled by highly valued craftscats (you will see exactly how highly valued if you enquire as to the price!). While almost all are designed for feline paws, a few have been crafted for other species. The better showrooms contain shooting ranges where one can practise one's markcatship.

Sports

Shooting is a popular sport - especially duelling with waxen bullets. Special face masks are often worn to prevent damage to the eyes, but the "True Toms" deign to lower themselves in this regard.

Bob-sleighing is also popular, and there are several mountain slopes with runs of great renown - the southern side of Mount Tironos for example.

There have been attempts to cultivate interest in mud-hockey, but sadly the mud keeps on freezing over, somewhat spoiling the spectacle.

Warning

Earthquakes are the major hazard, and some parts of the planet are particularly prone. Many hotels have one or more shelters which can be reached within three minutes of the room's front door. While nowhere near as dire as the situation on Reorte, the preponderance of mountains and glaciers can make tremors much more damaging. Still, local architecture has evolved with the peril very much in mind, and extensive damage such as that causing the Owrosstosian rift is quite rare.