Calling all Graphic Designers!

[Zieman]

And finally, Sidewinder:

[Captain Hesperus]

AAAAAAMAZING!!!! Jim, I've just heard that Team Festus Flyers have finally thrown their hats into the racing ring and have retained the services of not only thrice-Gal1 champion, Aldo Accelerati, but of the highly talented designer, Zeiman, to design the racing strip!

That's right, Bob, Festus have been keeping this little surprise under wraps. Not a great wonder considering the controversy of last year's prelims when Team Cosmorossi not only stole Festus' lead racer, but they even stole the design for the team's strip and paraded it on their support Anacondas. That was certainly a smack in the face for the Flyer's pit chief and that was considered the high point of their season, as well.

Darn straight, Jim!!! I gotta tell ya, my blood pressure's through the roof right now!!!! All that's left of last years competitors is Team CR LeBeouf. They're cuttin' it mighty close what with qualifiers so close I can almost smell them!!!! I don't think I can handle much more excitement!!!! In fact, I'm gettin' chest pains right now, thinking about LeBoeuf's great season last year!!!! Jim? Everything's gettin' fuzzy.......
<crumpf>

Uhhhh, we'll cut to a word from our sponsors, while the med-team tries to resusitate Bob. We, or at least, I will be back shortly. Don't touch that remote!

Captain Hesperus

[DaddyHoggy]

So, just team 44 Club leBeouf to go then...

[Pangloss]

And finally, Sidewinder:

Nicely done!

[Pangloss]

Sang-LeBoeuf, owner of Club Racing LeBoeuf, number 44 in light blue.

I call dibs.

[Pangloss]

[Pangloss]

Nope. Not futuristic enough. But I like the idea of the separated line.



Much better!

[Commander McLane]

Hm. Perhaps not futuristic enough, but it would certainly make a great neon sign.

[Pangloss]

Club Racing LeBeouf announces their new look, designed by renowned octopoid artiste Sukkaz.



After their stellar performance in last year's championship, CRLeB has signed a two-year sponsorship deal with Lave Fried Trumble. LFT: it's tentacle-licking good. Warning: may contain small metal fragments, particles of console debris and/or cargo canister shrapnel.

[DaddyHoggy]

That's not a font! I always thought the point of a font, no matter how stylised, should be readable!

EDIT: Let me clarify that before somebody else points out the error of my ways - I'm talking about fonts that make up the alphanumeric letters of a mostly Westernised target audience - I'm not talking about sanscript or hieroglyphics or Japanese or Chinese or Hebrew etc characters (or their corresponding fonts)

[Pangloss]

That's not a font! I always thought the point of a font, no matter how stylised, should be readable!

EDIT: Let me clarify that before somebody else points out the error of my ways - I'm talking about fonts that make up the alphanumeric letters of a mostly Westernised target audience - I'm not talking about sanscript or hieroglyphics or Japanese or Chinese or Hebrew etc characters (or their corresponding fonts)

It is TOO a font!! It's called Shamen Remix, and was used by the wee rave collective The Shamen in the 90s (but only on remix stuff... their main font was easier to read), and the octopoids love it because it looks like their language too. Something about independent linguistical evolution, quite like how the eye has evolved at least five times in nature to do the same job, and that's just on Earth... but with language. Oddly enough, it incorporates Hiragana and Katakana elements (Japanese) too. Maybe that's why I can read it (remember Ichihara S-Pulse!!).



Oddly enough, my sig line (from Voltaire's 'Candide') was incorporated in a tune by the band called Possible Worlds. We live together, love together, do whatever we want together, in the best of all possible worlds, nothing is impossible.

Yes, I'm a former raver! One more ship to go.

[/img]

[Captain Hesperus]

Hi, I'm Jim Snarlg!

And I'm Busty Janari, your favourite galactic conditions-girl here at Channel Sport!, standing in for Bob Julvert. We know you're probably getting us beamed directly through the neural interface of your total immersion Critical Care Cryo-pod, so we'd just like to say we're all thinking about you, Bill.

Bob.

What? <blank expression>

He's name's Bob.

Oh, yeah, <giggle>.

Anyway, back to the latest news from the Galactic Racing League. After what felt like months of waiting, Team CR LeBeouf have finally unveiled their new racing strip! Busty, you were there at the unveiling, what was it like?

Well Joe, there were lots of nice guys there, all real polite and everything. They all kept commenting on how nice my blouse fitted, and the funny thing was some of them kept dropping stuff in front of me. I thought it might have been to look up my skirt, but they swore it wasn't so I had to believe them, but....

Busty? Uhh, I meant what was the team's new racing strip like.

<blank expression>

Uhhh, from what I've read, Misty, the team's strip is reminiscent of the one they used in their very first season, where they proceeded to win eight out of the ten races they entered. Maybe they are hoping to bring some of that racing spirit into this season. As I'm sure you know, although CR LeBeouf had a storming season last year, previous years have been dogged by bad luck, with sponsors pulling out mid-season, pilot deaths and a series of so-called 'accidents' resulting in serious damage to their main and reserve ships. Some people put this down to a disgruntled ex-pilot with a grudge against Club Racing LeBeouf, while others say it's something to do with the legendary curse that was supposedly placed on the Sang-LeBoeuf family itself centuries ago. What are you're thoughts, Misty?

Ya know, I think those guys were lying. I mean, how often can someone drop a cocktail sausage when you're talking to them, once, twice maybe?

Misty?

I dunno, I think those Leboeuf guys are a buncha perverts, an' if they'd bin on ma homeworld, ma daddy an' ma brothers wudda bust all their heads tagetha....

Anyway.... I think we'll cut to Lars Ooverberck with details of the upcoming season and the truely stellar list of pilots who're going to be going head-to-head for the glory of that prestigious League Gold Ribbon this year. Lars?

Captain Hesperus

[Zieman]

Again, thanks for the compliments!

And really, team Festus Flyers should have Pangloss as the co-author, the chicken and Festus Flyers logo are after all his creations.

[Pangloss]

Gentlemen.



Start your engines.

And if I could propose a theme tune for the GRL's Ring Racing League, I say Basic Dawn's 'Pure Thrust'. The Nu NRG Remix. If someone provides enough 1.73 demo video (I already know where to get Griff's New Thargoid demos... more good quality stuff like that), I'll splice it together and make us a proper video. It'd be nice to see some of the race ships in the demos too (I can sprinkle logos in there too... now you know why I was posting those).

[DaddyHoggy]

My original idea was a trans-galaxy race based in Gal 1:

The 'DICKY BOW RUN'
The Trans-Gal One Endurance 1Mil race, as it is known officially is one of the most gruelling and testing races in Galaxy 1. Called the Commander Williams Enduro Cup by race fans, it is known as the 'Dicky-Bow Run' by true fanatics and the racers that compete in it because of the shape that the most direct course takes.
The race starts in the furthest most South-west at Laeden and the first leg goes diagonally across to the furthest most North-eastern world Ribilebi. Leg two goes straight to Sori at the uttermost galactic South-east before leg three back across the galaxy to Cemave in the North-west. The final leg is back to Laeden and the big finish. The less formal title, the Commander Williams Enduro Cup, comes from the first man to perform the incredible journey across the length and breadth of the Galaxy, Commander Giles Williams. The story goes that Commander Williams was relaxing in the Traveller's Rest tavern on Laeden's second Coriolis station, quietly celebrating his newly-acquired Elite status with his friends, when he was insulted by a pair of loud-mouthed Bounty-hunters. Knowing that killing them would result in his becoming a Fugitive, he instead challenged them to race him to the furthest reaches of the Galaxy. Not wanting to seem belittled in front of the crowds that had gathered around, they accepted and the race was set. To make sure that the competitors went to each location, they had to personally buy a souvenir item from the main stations at Ribilebi, Sori and Cemave as well as send a message to Laeden, showing them holding the souvenirs. The tale of Commander Williams' exploits became legendary as he made his run, keeping that little bit ahead of the hunters as well as the various pirates and aliens that sought to impede him. Finally, he returned to the Laeden system, his Cobra Mk. III showing all the damage of a long journey with little time for maintenance. He was just that bit ahead of the two bounty-hunters' ships and about to pass Laeden's station for the win, when the two pilots launched missiles at him. Commander Williams reacted instantly, his battle-honed skills bringing his ship around so fast that he destroyed one of the missiles with a burst of his Military Laser. GalCop Vipers responded quickly, disabling and boarding the two Bounty-hunters, but everyone could see that, even without turning back, Commander Williams was the winner and a legendary race was born.

The first Dicky-Bow Runs were often anarchic affairs, with teams of disparate racers and technicians roaring through systems, leaving trails of angry traders who had to abort their docking approaches because some hot-head cut in, irritated police trying to manage several dozen ships all clamouring to dock at the same station at exactly the same time and GalCop Magistrates and Justices of the Peace with potentially fatal migraines trying to figure out what to do with the sudden glut of Offenders that had to dock at his space station, because they all had to buy a holo-globe. But as time went on, a committee of veteran racers sat down with the GalCop authorities and hashed out a series of guidelines and promises that the racers would have to commit to. This formation of a 'governing body' gave companies who wanted to advertise a point of contact with the Trans-galactic racing community. Thus sponsorship of the race and a prize other than the fact the winner crossed the line first were established and continued to the present day. Now many independant teams petition sponsors, usually alcoholic drinks and 'recreational products' companies, for capital to start their bid to race.

All along the route of the race there are check-points, which are normally located near to the planet's primary station. These check-points are adapted racing loops with inbuilt scanners that log the time each registered racing ship passes through and issues time penalties to ships that pass through after the lead ship. If a ship fails to pass the check-point within the allotted forty-eight hour time limit after the first ship through, it is disqualified. At some check-points (usually in Corporate States where the public Pay-Per-View channels televise the race), there are a number of racing loops scattered around the system, each needing to be passed in the correct order before the check-point loop may be passed. At these systems, squadrons of converted Hatchling BoyRacer ships wait at the Witchpoint Beacon, each bearing a number of camera pods to chase the racing ships as they make the run through the racing loops and the final, often exhilarating, dash to get the best time through the check-point. It is this that has gained the race it's afficionados, since the racers are not prevented from attacking each other, even in the most lawful systems. These televised dashes are among the most hair- (or tentacle-)raising times, when pilots are pushed, and indeed push their ships, to the extreme to avoid missiles and laserfire from other ships, while still keeping their eyes on the check-point. Once a ship passes through the check-point, the stage ends and the 'clock' is stopped. At this point, the racer meets up with his support crew to rest, repair their ship and review their position and the best tactics for the up-coming stage. During these meetings, the pilot and his crew chief decide which systems he should jump to and when, if ever, he should meet up or make contact with the support ship. It's normal that the crew chief verbally tears the pilot apart for the damage that's been caused to the ship, regardless of the circumstances at this point. Once the allotted time passes, the race is re-started. The lead ship takes the green light and passes through the check-point to 'restart the clock'. Each ship that came after the leader then waits out it's time penalty before they too pass through the check-point and continue the race.

There are no restrictions as to which ship a competitor may use, and indeed, many different manufacturers' ships are regularly raced. Manufacturers even enter their own race teams with ships of their own construction, crewed by test pilots and supported by development technicians and engineers. These racers tend to be testing new propulsion units and maneouvring arrays. Even the fitting of ships is entirely up to the race crew, although race officials have deemed that escape pods and scanner targeting enhancements are required in the qualification rules and fuel scoops and Witchdrive fuel injectors are a must for any real contender. Meanwhile, the 'Torus' in-system drive is not so much banned, but those competitors who use them tend to be looked down upon by professional racers as 'only in it for fun'. Of course, in a competitor sport such as this, energy bombs and Quirium mines are devices that, if found to be fitted to a racer, will result in the team not simply suffering disqualification from the present race, but a permanent disqualification from the running of future races and any previous awards being stripped from them.

The most dangerous part of the Dicky-Bow Run is that each ship is expected to defend itself against any dangers, thus the allowance for any equipment (excepting the E-bomb and Q-bomb) that can be fitted to the ship. Many teams maintain a number two race ship, that according to the rules must have the same fittings as the number one, just in case the first racer is destroyed or damaged beyond recovery. However, most teams refuse to switch to their reserve ship, since there is a 10,000 credit bonus to the winner if they cross the finish line in the ship they left in. This, and the team's professional pride, means that any damage short of total destruction results in the identical number two ship being cannibalised for replacement parts!

Pilot deaths are rare, since the competing ships are required to have escape pods as standard and all racer support ships are called upon to recover any pods they come across, but there have been fatalities. Some have been due to pilot error, such as Jad Xeclo's spectacular collision with the rotating boom of the Transhab station over Estusi while trying to overtake another racer and others were due to hostile acts, like Iz Lito's valiant death fighting a group of pirates who had attacked another team's support ship. Each loss is lamented and most racing teams will sacrifice an hour of their race time as a mark of respect to the lost racer. The new Dodec station over Laeden has a plaque on it's hull over the docking port recording the name of every racer who died while competing.

Just as there is no standard requirement for ships, there is also no standard requirement of pilot experience. As long as a pilot has passed out of the Lave Flight Academy, he is deemed fit to race. There is a fraternity of 'Rookies', young pilots whose Elite ratings are usually between 'Harmless' and 'Average', who compete in the race to raise their ratings, both in the race standings and the Elite Federation. In the years it has been run, only one rookie, 'Lighting-fast' Fas McMadden, has ever taken first place.

The 1Mil mentioned in the race's official title is actually the normal prize that the race sponsors are expected to provide to the winner, that being 1,000,000 Credits. However, this is almost never the amount that winning racers receive, since the cost of one (if there is no back up) fully-kitted ship plus a large support ship (usually either an Anaconda, Boa or Boa Class Cruiser), plus support and flight crew wages, spare parts, food and drink, replacement clothing, bail, fines and the sundry other expenses of travelling to the four corners of the Galaxy means that the winner usually ends up with a purse of around 20,000 Credits at the race end, which goes up to 30,000 if he crosses the finish line in his original ship.

The race, while still a 'marginal' sport when compared to Zero-G hockey or Hi-Grav Wrestling, has found its popularity and media exposure increasing, just as it's sponsors are becoming more influential. One of the sponsors of the winner's purse were the Pan-Galactic Credit, Checking and Loan Bank (PGCCLB Ltd.), who instituted the Williams Cup, presented to the racer who had the quickest average time at the end of the race. This prize is a gold cup and a 10,000 Credit purse to the racer who, while not necessarily the winner of the Trans-Gal One Endurance 1Mil race, accrued the fastest average time between check-points.

So each year the 'Dicky-Bow Run' gains a larger following of fans as ever greater the challenges the racers face. There are great things in store for the winners of the race, as well as ignominious ends for those who don't measure up. But for many, the rewards far outweigh the risks and the roll of registered racers grows ever longer.

I suppose that you could have a 'Grand Touring Championship' with teams competing to race through all eight galaxies: starting at one system, racing through to another before jumping to the next galaxy and going back the other way, rinse and repeat. But while I though about that previously, I felt that logistically (and in game terms), it would be extraordinarily complicated, so settled on the concept as a Gal One phenomena, although there could be rival/identical leagues in Gal Two and beyond.

Captain Hesperus

Having just watched DaddyHoggy jump out of Diso in his custom built replica Magma Racing Mamba, a thought occurred to me about the great Cap'n H's grand plan - Mambas and Sidewinders and Kraits are not Hyperspace capable ships...

Somebody/something else would have to open up the wormhole between systems.....