Oolite Bulletins

I quote Blackadder, Mary Whitehouse Experience and Aliens all the time.

That said, in writing if it's used too much it becomes more of a hunt for the injokes than a truly engaging piece of fiction.

Like was said before, don't use them too much.

My 2 credits.

@DerekHartley - I agree that most people (including myself) quote quite a lot in daily life. However, that doesn't mean it's necessarily admirable to have your characters spout other people's lines instead of giving them their own. If "making people laugh" is your primary aim (with believability a lesser priority), then having a character quote someone else's joke is really just laziness - falling back on another writer's skill to do the job for you. The scene I mentioned is, quite frankly, sh*t, and that's why.

If you're writing something where believability is more important, then sure, quoting could make sense. But in Drew's stuff the characters seem to be quoting without realising they're doing so, so I don't think it makes their world more believable - I'd say it makes it less so. I think that's kind of the point Jack_H was making - it draws attention to the fact that it's a piece of fiction, and detracts from your immersion in the story.

In my opinion

Oh great, now I'm in a right quandary..

Cheers,

Drew.

"You must do what you feel is right, of course..."

I'm enjoying the story but feel it could be easily improved if every occurance of "frak" was removed. Note I swear like a wharfie in real life so am not particularly shocked or offended by it. I just find it gets in the way of the story.

I also don't like too many made up jargon or slang words. There are enough of them that we know from the Elite manual and The Dark Wheel without adding any more.

The effect of made-up swear words, jargon, and slang just seems to be to make the story quite jarring and is a constant reminder you're reading fiction rather than the desired effect of enhancing the immersion.

Turf all that and I'll bet the future chapters are a lot easier to read!