Oolite Bulletins

Diziet Sma wrote:

'Tis a pity that, being the second sentence, and not the first, it's not eligible for the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest...

Heh.. I'm really starting to get into this story. I'm not sure what I'm enjoying most.. the mangled sentences, the mangled spelling, the mangled grammar, the mangled tenses, or the mangled similes.

Thanks, Ranthe.. this is a true treasure!

3 minutes later..
Edit.. OMG, I may die from laughing so hard.. this just gets better and better!

I participated in an actual group reading of "The Eye of Argon" at the NZ National SF Convention in 2013 - for my section, I lasted reading about four sentences out loud before I burst out laughing and had to handover to the next person in the group

did me in... i only got to the hoof prints at the start of the second "sentence" before laughing..... hey at least he wrote something and got it published.... more than i ever did.lol

For completeness, The Eye of Argon gets the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 treatment, here:
http://www.coraline.org/other-things/eye-of-argon

It's at least as funny as the original tale, if not more so..

spud42 wrote:

hey at least he wrote something and got it published

A few issues later, the same fanzine that published him also featured an interview with Theis. In an online transcript of the interview, the transcriber made the following comment:

The two issues of OSFAN that I have are replete with amazing typos, spelling errors, runtogether words and missing punctuation in a manner that will be familiar to readers of "Eye of Argon". I suspect that the vast majority of the errors in "Eye of Argon" were in fact not the author's fault, but were committed by the person (uncredited) who typed the stencils for OSFAN, who appears to have been a sloppy typist and rather sparing in the use of corflu*. (Or maybe you just couldn't get corflu in the Ozarks in those days.)

Fortunately, even without the bad spelling, typos and indifferent punctuation, the tale is still horrendously bad.


* For those here who are too young to have knowledge of such things, back in the days of typewriters, the analogue equivalent of the 'delete' key was 'correction fluid', or 'corflu' for short..

Diziet Sma wrote:

* For those here who are too young to have knowledge of such things, back in the days of typewriters, the analogue equivalent of the 'delete' key was 'correction fluid', or 'corflu' for short..

More often known by the brand name Liquid Paper. And, a trivia point every schoolboy knows, Mike Nesmith of the Monkees was an heir to the Liquid Paper fortune.

Wildeblood wrote:

More often known by the brand name Liquid Paper.

Back in year 10 high school, when I learned to touch-type*, I much preferred Tipp-Ex papers.. faster and less messy than Liquid Paper.


*It was an elective class - the alternative was computer programming (using punch-cards!), I've always wondered what might have happened if I'd had the foresight to take that instead.

Am I the only one who thought Corflu was a nasty bug you picked up on mediterranean Islands?
Tipp-ex was the main brand when I was a seedling...very useful stuff it was, too.

Smivs wrote:

Am I the only one who thought Corflu was a nasty bug you picked up on mediterranean Islands?

I admit I had to look it up to get the reference.. seems to be one of those Americanisms..

Diziet Sma wrote:

*It was an elective class - the alternative was computer programming (using punch-cards!), I've always wondered what might have happened if I'd had the foresight to take that instead.

I did that in maths class - programming in BASIC on punch cards - about as relevant nowadays as slide rules. Learning to use a slide rule would have been more personally satisfying. Sigh. I enjoy analogue technology & dislike all this digital crap that infests the modern world. I wonder if anyone, anywhere, still makes slide rules...?

Aww man.. I still miss my slide rules.. I had 3. A high-precision 15-inch, a 3 edged triangular-profile 12-inch, and a 4-inch circular one..

Sad.. an entire industry killed off by the invention of the pocket calculator.

Wildeblood wrote:

I wonder if anyone, anywhere, still makes slide rules...?

As it turns out, yes, they do!

Faber-Castell's German online store has quite a few different models available. (Their US and Aus stores don't, though)
http://translate.google.com/translate?i ... m8LBVRB1vg

The Concise Company of Tokyo still manufacture and sell a wide range of circular and pilot's slide rules. Very reasonable prices, too..
http://www.concise.co.jp/en/products/li ... y=&rnd=vae

And get this.. apparently, there are slide rule emulator apps available for Android devices!

Wildeblood wrote:

Learning to use a slide rule would have been more personally satisfying. Sigh. I enjoy analogue technology

If you get one, you can learn how to use it here.. (among other places)
http://sliderulemuseum.com/SR_Course.htm

Also see: http://www.oughtred.org/

Diziet Sma wrote:

And get this.. apparently, there are slide rule emulator apps available for Android devices!

Ok.. of the 6 slide rules available, all are free, and all require NO permissions to be granted, which is something of a rarity these days. However, two (Ivan Perevalov's and Mastermodeling's) are imprecise in action, rendering them useless, and two (Smart Slide Rule and Circular Slide Rule) are very basic, and not much better than toys. That leaves two that are worthwhile having. The memory requirements of both are small enough that it's worthwhile installing the both of them. Both are quite usable even on a smart phone. On a tablet, I think they'd be a joy to use.

Geek Central's Infinirule, while a little basic looking (only 4 scales on-screen), actually has over 40 scales that can selected from, is very handy in that both the stator and slide are 'endless', and that both coarse and precision movements are simple and intuitive in use. It has a lock function and a very powerful zoom feature. Scale readings can be copy/pasted to/from the clipboard. It also comes with a useful help page. Another bonus is that it only requires 110Kb of storage. For a 'power user', this is probably the best of the lot.

Arguably, the best of the bunch for ordinary people, is Gushiku Studio's Slide Rule. Unlike all the others, this one does display very unobtrusive ads at the foot of the title page, but not when actually in use. It has 10 scales, a very fine precision mode, the display can be zoomed in and out, and it includes a pretty good guide on how to use the scales for various kinds of calculations. Memory requirement is only 1.3Mb. For someone who wants to learn how to use a slide rule without having to buy one first, I'd highly recommend this app.

this was my Grandfathers. He was a mechanical engineer . Back in the old dart he worked for Raleigh. Here in Brisbane had his own factory in west end that got flooded in 1974 , then moved it to a hill in the southern suburbs... didnt want his lathes to get wet again lol...

Its in a case that has Lawes Rabjohns, Abbey House Westminister on it and searching online came up with that picture labeled Thompson 111.
used to know how to use it 40 years ago but all i remember is log tables and moving bits then back to log tables.... wont part with it...sentimental reasons etc....

spud42 wrote:

searching online came up with that picture labeled Thompson 111

Ahh.. that would be a Thornton PIC #111.. You can find a PDF of the standard Thornton instruction manual here.

If you hunt around, you should be able to find the year of manufacture marked on it somewhere..

spud42 wrote:

wont part with it...sentimental reasons etc....

You wouldn't get a lot for it if you did.. that model goes for about $15 on ebay.

late night post, old age etc.... excuse..excuse.. lol

on the back to the right of the table sticker is a 51... could that be 1951??

P.S. if i had bothered to remove the slide i could have saved myself time looking for it on google...... it has PIC No 111 and A.G.Thornton LTD Made in England.