Oolite Bulletins

Bugbear wrote:

Kind of takes me back to my MechWarrior days where you had to select your weaponry based on the terrain that you were entering...

Install the Missiles and Bomb OXP to get that feeling again. You have to pick what missiles you think are best for the system you're flying into.

Anti-tailgater missiles: fly fast like a missile, launch rearward like a mine. Saves the missiles wasting time and fuel doing a 180 turn.

Anti-masslock anchor missile - attaches itself to the target, does no damage, but makes them go backwards for a few minutes, then files back to your ship and reattaches itself to a pylon.

Just the thing for getting rid of those pesky ships that are faster than you Boa, but when you couldn't be bothered expending the injector fuel to get past them.

Bugbear wrote:

Anti-masslock anchor missile - attaches itself to the target, does no damage, but makes them go backwards for a few minutes, then files back to your ship and reattaches itself to a pylon.

Just the thing for getting rid of those pesky ships that are faster than you Boa, but when you couldn't be bothered expending the injector fuel to get past them.

I like this idea but not what I'd have:

I'd like a pylon with say 5 spears. Fired one at a time, well aimed, the spear would breach the hull and detonate a mild EMP whilst injecting a disorientating gas. Basically rendering the ship harmless for a while. The gas making the crew very dizzy. The EMP pulse inside. Well we all know what that would do to navigation and flight control.

I know that counter measures would be available before such a thing got to market.
But it would be fun, hit a ship with a stone age weapon and watch them go gaga.

Not quite a dream weapon I know, But you could use it on Gal cop!

"Me Sir? No I didn't destroy anything Sir!"
"Not my fault he ran into an old discarded lance" "Who knows where or when it was left"
"Are you sure he wasn't just drunk? I've heard they have a really strong brew there Sir"

"You will return my status to clean now Sir?"
"Thank you Sir"

Thargoid wrote:

You lot really should explore in detail the toys in Armoury.oxp

Acknowledged, Commander. Time to spend my credits!

A poodle trebuchet?

You must be thinking of the Laika Cannon™.

When triggered in the vicinity of any vessel containing a humanoid passenger, it launches a small, transparent capsule containing a cute doggie with floppy ears and bright, shiny eyes. Its built-in homing beacon (essentially a modified escape capsule tracking / navigation / propulsion mechanism) locks on to the nearest enemy vessel, determines its movement vector and positions itself to 100 to 500 metres in front of the vessel. It then repeatedly transmits an all-frequency distress signal: "Low air alert! Puppy die, puppy die! Yap! Yap! Yap!".

The capsule will keep trying to reposition itself in front of the targeted vessel's front viewing screen.

The only ways to stop this Motion Activated Distractor are to shoot it, or to deactivate it by means of space-walking from the vessel to the capsule and manually switching off the automated transmission of dog sounds.

Shooting the capsule results in a PETA rating of Fugitive; fuel-scooping it results in a GSPCA rating of Offender.

To launch the capsule from the Laika Cannon™, press the big brown button marked "Barking MAD".


I have heard rumours of a light-weight, one-shot weapon from DaddyHoggy Industries called a Greebo Launcher that does serious damage to ones paintwork but will also provide temporary disablement to those trying to scoop food cargopods.

A Fuel-Scoop Bung.

Looks like a conventional cargopod but, when scooped by anyone other than oneself, suddenly expands enormously, thereby blocking the fuel scoop. The ship scooping it effectively has its cargo scoop removed from its manifest.

Think of a HUGE can of TyreWeld, or Polycell Expanding Foam, or Diet Coke and Mentos, or polyurethane foam production.

Carried by mining ships to stop cheeky thieving Jameson's from zooming in and pinching their asteroid splinters, and by bounty hunters to stop opportunist toe-rags helping themselves to liberated pirate loot.

"Here you go, my pilfering pal. Let's see the smug look wiped off your face when you try to clean out a cubic km of solid expanded foam from your scoops. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haa!"

Actually, I was more inspired by this vid, from about 5:50 to 6:20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y4u8sWO1Kk

...But I certainly concede that the Laika Cannon is also a worthy concept. Simply brilliant.

Another possibility yet would be the project "Codename: Monkey Bazooka". While it's name might worry PETA a bit, no monkeys are actually involved. It would merely fire several kilograms of waste from the the ship's sanitary facilities at the opponent ship. The name, obviously, comes from the favourite projectile weapon of certain primates, and every purchase of a "Monkey Bazooka" could be accompanied by a bumper sticker reading "Warning! I fling poo."

Is this thread turning into 'Bizzare weapons of Oolite'?

We've already got the Trumble cargo pods (nice touch I thought).

Pretty soon the poodle trebuchet (another inspired weapon)

Canine missiles for chasing the feline species - and firing one in a feline system would make you an instant fugitive!!!

How about Paintball in Space - when you hit your target with this one, it makes them brighter and easier to hit with the laser.

(I've been indulging in a bit of wine tonight, a nice South Australian Chiraz, so don't mind me if my posts are a bit odd)

The Wormhole Bomb.

Non-lethal defensive weapon.

Intended for use when being pursued. Launched like a mine, it it expelled from the rear of the vessel and opens a much-larger-than-normal, long-lasting wormhole behind the ship. Any vessel flying into this wormhole cloud will find itself dumped somewhere in space, 0.1 light years away from where it was.

Uses up all the witch fuel in the ship that fired it.

Ships that enter it that are unable to jump back to a system will in time, no doubt, be 'rescued' by bounty hunters / GalCops entering the wormhole cloud to 'rescue' / investigate anyone who passed through.

SandJ wrote:

The Wormhole Bomb.

Non-lethal defensive weapon.

Uses up all the witch fuel in the ship that fired it.

Ships that enter it that are unable to jump back to a system will in time, no doubt, be 'rescued' by bounty hunters / GalCops entering the wormhole cloud to 'rescue' / investigate anyone who passed through.

I don't think you'd need to steal all the victim's witch fuel. A 0.1LY jump would take 0.01 hours game time - about 1 minute. The return jump would be another minute. Two minutes grace from assault from an attacker could be all that's required to turn the tables.

Acutally, that's not a bad sounding weapon.

(That's assuming the victim survives the Thargoids in interstellar space...but that's another undecided factoid - do Thargoids exists every time you hit interstellar space? No need to answer that right now....)

SandJ wrote:

A Fuel-Scoop Bung.

Looks like a conventional cargopod but, when scooped by anyone other than oneself, suddenly expands enormously, thereby blocking the fuel scoop. The ship scooping it effectively has its cargo scoop removed from its manifest.

Think of a HUGE can of TyreWeld, or Polycell Expanding Foam, or Diet Coke and Mentos, or polyurethane foam production.

Carried by mining ships to stop cheeky thieving Jameson's from zooming in and pinching their asteroid splinters, and by bounty hunters to stop opportunist toe-rags helping themselves to liberated pirate loot.

"Here you go, my pilfering pal. Let's see the smug look wiped off your face when you try to clean out a cubic km of solid expanded foam from your scoops. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haa!"

Download Pods.oxp - it's called the JamPod.

One of the two (alongside the exploding pod) which seem to upset people who only want nice pods...

Thargoid, methinks you need a publicist.

Time to start advertising with YAH....