Tales from the spacelanes...

[spud42]

good one Neelix...

[Disembodied]

I'm on the last, short hop of a parcel delivery, bringing some court papers to Esredice, and thinking that there's nothing like having a contract out on you to make you appreciate your witchdrive injectors and your rear-mounted military laser (is it wrong that I've named my lasers? Pixie on the bow, and Dixie on the stern) ... apart from one nasty scrap, on a long leg from from Larelace to Dizaoner, I've been painting the witchpoints purple all the way, and only firing back when some pursuer gets too enthusiastic. Maybe word gets round, though, that my Cobra III the Victrix is well-named, because at the Esredice WP there's just two antagonists, the Cobra III Starship Raging and the Asp Esredice Maru. The latter drifts, casual, onto my six, like he's getting comfortable - and square into Dixie's sights. Dixie does her thing, and the Asp is gone in seconds flat. I sling the ship around, and line up Pixie while Starship Raging is still yammering threats. Pixie is barely warm halfway before ... y'know. I check around, quick, while the girls are cooling, then it's inward bound for the Esredice Coriolis.

Esredice's a Feudal burg, so I'm looking out for trouble, when I spot some laser flash. But next to it, there's this big old rock, and I can see the gleam of docking lights. A miner! And Platinum is going for C*78 on Esredice. So over I go, and soon I'm snug in Fayr's Dare, buying up the shiny things. Then it's time to go, so launch, set compass, and ... masslock. Someone's launched just behind me. Fayr's Dare orbits with its back to the planet, so whoever it is, the asteroid is between me and them. So - with a quick double-check for stray rocks out front - I take a casual look behind me, expecting to see a Worm or Adder or maybe a dusty Cobra I, heading out to zap the rocks. What I see instead is the rear end of a Boa - one that scans as the Bring It On Home: Fugitive. So I'm opening up the throttle, and very glad I checked my forward course, because the Boa's followed by the nastiest parade of freebooters I've seen yet: a Gecko, a Cobra III, an Asp (the Stoat, this one), and still they keep on coming. They must have been docked in there deep, and conducting business I don't want to know about, because Fayr's Dare was calm and quiet and mercury wouldn't melt ...

For one brief moment, the Bring It On Home had sat plum in Dixie's reticle, and I swear that gun was calling out for me to open fire: bounty, another kill, and stuff, lots of it! But no: I've already poked the, ahem, alternative economy of Esredice hard enough this trip, bringing in those papers. Besides, what would they think on Fayr's Dare? I'd get some sort of bushwhack rep, at least, and that's the sort of mud that sticks. Anyway, the Bring It On Home, and her long, long trail of acquaintances showed no interest in me: they went their way, and I went mine, happy indeed that I hadn't met them before they'd finished business for the day.

The rest of the run to the Coriolis was quiet. I docked, delivered the papers, got my pay, sold the shinies, and had a long, hard think over a long, hard drink about the dangers inherent in our line of work, and whether an anthropomorphic approach to one's weaponry might be more trouble than it's worth. Because, I tell you: man, Dixie wanted to shoot that Boa. It would have been the dumbest rube manoeuvre, and I screwed that nut down tight, but ... man, there was a hunger there. And now here I am, slightly cut, fuelled and ready with an itchy laser. The best thing - the very best thing - for me to do right now would be to take a stroll round the station and take a swing at the first Blue I see, and get a night in chokey, and have to clean up after the craboids tomorrow. That would cure me. But I don't know, man, I don't know ...

[Paradox]

...(is it wrong that I've named my lasers? Pixie on the bow, and Dixie on the stern)...

... and had a long, hard think over a long, hard drink...

Love those lines!

[Bangbangduck]

...(is it wrong that I've named my lasers? Pixie on the bow, and Dixie on the stern)

No. Pinky and Perky would have been though

BBD

[Neelix]

...(is it wrong that I've named my lasers? Pixie on the bow, and Dixie on the stern)

No. Pinky and Perky would have been though

How about Pinky and The Brain then?

- Neelix

[Cmdr Wyvern]

Holding conversations with your weapons may be a sign that your sanity is starting to slip...
Unless one of those guns is this chattery beast.

[Neelix]

Holding conversations with your weapons may be a sign that your sanity is starting to slip...
Unless one of those guns is this chattery beast.

meh... Sanity is overrated.

- Neelix

[Disembodied]

Holding conversations with your weapons may be a sign that your sanity is starting to slip...

That's what worries me. As it turned out, I got talking to this Sidewinder jockey, and over a few she spun me enough stories of the Bring It On Home and its attendant pack to make my eyeballs sweat, so I felt the need to have a few more, which put the kybosh on a launch that cycle ... Anyhow, we ended up back at her 'Winder, the Oath of Glory, and she'd invited me up to check out her command couch setup, as it were; but man, she kept that hull polished smooth, and we were both slipping and sliding around on top (maybe me more than her), and she said that she could slide all the way down and recite the nine Natural Martyrs, backwards, before she hit the deck, and I couldn't. Remember, we'd both had more than our RDA of Old Dreadful, so I felt I had to try: so I slid, but forgot to recite the Martyrs, and she recited the Martyrs, but forgot to slide, and when I hit the deck I busted up my shoulder some, to the point where I could actually feel it through the alcohol.

After that, the evening went downhill, I suspect, and I woke up in one of the damper corners of Esredice's holding tanks. Some kind soul had pasted a bunch of derms on my shoulder, and it was back in business, which was just as well 'cause nobody had cleared up after those craboids in some time, I can tell you: more shovelwork than mop-and-bucket.

So that's me, back on the straight track, I hope. Thing is, when I woke up, first thing I saw was this little bit of doggerel, scratched into the tank wall. It looked kind of fresh - insofar as anything in there could be described as "fresh" - but it wasn't my handwriting, busted shoulder or no, and it's not something I've heard before. But I got it down by eye, and it went like this:

There’s those who’ll kill in self-defence,
And those who’ll kill for pay,
And those who’ll kill you for their cause
If you get in their way.
But worst of all, I’ll tell you now,
However hard you psyche it,
Are those who’ll kill you anyhow,
Just because they like it.

[Cody]

Cool tale, Big D - and I'm almost tempted to use that doggerel as a sig on the E: D forum.

[Disembodied]

Cool tale, Big D - and I'm almost tempted to use that doggerel as a sig on the E: D forum.

If you think it might do some good over there, feel free!

[Cody]

If you think it might do some good over there, feel free!

Well, with all the talk/panic about griefers over there, it does seem apposite. Attributed to Blaze O'Glory, yes?

[Diziet Sma]

Great idea, Cody..

Nicely done, Disembodied!

[Cody]

Great idea, Cody..

Done!

[spud42]

here i am new commander, doing the Qutiri to Isnor run with the occasional trip to Tionisla when prices drop. No injectors yet and i cant find the Station there is an asteroid field in front of me. So i pop a few ,hey every extra credit helps. Then i saw it. My first Rock Hermit. i excitedly start to line up then hear "Drop your cargo" oh hell pirates.. run for the hermit i think...damn the docks on the side. its ok just get in front then turn fast and dock!! Well i hit the dock , it was a short but eventful life......

[mossfoot]

here i am new commander, doing the Qutiri to Isnor run with the occasional trip to Tionisla when prices drop. No injectors yet and i cant find the Station there is an asteroid field in front of me. So i pop a few ,hey every extra credit helps. Then i saw it. My first Rock Hermit. i excitedly start to line up then hear "Drop your cargo" oh hell pirates.. run for the hermit i think...damn the docks on the side. its ok just get in front then turn fast and dock!! Well i hit the dock , it was a short but eventful life......

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