Mutabilis - Chapter Six

drew · Post by **drew** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 8:59 pm

In time for the weekend....

Chapter Six up on the Wiki

Cheers,

Drew.

Captain Hesperus · Post by **Captain Hesperus** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 10:51 pm

Okay:
Page 1, Line 27: "...Your obsessed!..." should be "...You're obsessed!..."
Page1, Line 30: Harmless/harmless capitalisation error.
Page 3, Line 20: "...It bounced of his shield..." should be "...It bounced off his shield..."
Page 4, Line 33: Harmless/harmless capitalisation error.
Page 6, Line 15: "The chief of staff..." should be "The Chief of Staff..."

A nice chapter, I like it more than the previous version, since dimensional and temporal paradoxes naturally give felines splitting migranes. Rebecca's mercenary streak can be scary at times!

Captain Hesperus

Website · Post by **DaddyHoggy** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:02 pm

Anybody else having problems reading Chapter Six? I use Foxit under Windows 98 (on my laptop) and the previous five chapters have been fine but Chapter Six opens but I only get the licensing agreement, although I click on additional pages they don't appear and eventually Foxit gives up.

I can't bring myself to install Bloatware Reader - so I will have to wait until I fire up the main PC under Ubuntu and try again.

Website · Post by **DaddyHoggy** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:52 pm

Got it!

Page 1: "No you listen!" - "No, you listen!"

Page 1: edit - what the cap'n spotted

Page 3: "...oh wise one" - "...oh Wise One"

Page 9: ...what is key is this." - "...what is key is this:"

Hmmm, potential time travel - have you learned nothing from the twisted knot Star Trek kept winding itself into?!

Good luck - I'm sure you've worked it all out - I'm really looking forward to what happens next. Keep up the good work!

Jack_H · Post by **Jack_H** » Sat Oct 18, 2008 5:16 am

Hi Drew

A funny thing that caught me out. Whenever something happened to Rebecca she would have a thought about it and then she would react. It feels backwards. If I shock you, do you jump back and then say 'holy crap you scared me.' or do you say 'holy crap.' and then jump backwards?

If rebecca is going to whirl about yell at Jim, i think she would do the whirling then think about it afterward.

Cheers

John

drew · Post by **drew** » Sat Oct 18, 2008 7:13 am

Thanks chaps! Will upload a corrected version shortly...

@Hesperus - Keep those painkillers handy, Raxxla may involve time travel

. As for Rebecca, - In Status Quo I felt, by necessity with the story, that the characters were a bit 2-dimensional. Rebecca came across as a bit too much like a 'stroppy teenager' in my view. Hopefully you get to see a bit more of what she's really like in Mutabilis...

@DaddyHoggy - Yes. Time travel is a problem, and has been demonstrated, is (I suspect) impossible to write completely accurately unless you make the assumption that nothing can be changed at all. You will have to give me a bit of leeway on this.

. However, in order to satisfy the Raxxla legends, I've had to dip in to it.

As for the pdf wierdness - I switched to openoffice 3 this week - maybe it's doing something clever with the pdf export?

@Jack - You're right, the opening scene was a later re-edit for slightly different emphasis and the thinking does look out of step on reflection. Will adjust for the future!

Cheers,

Drew.

Website · Post by **DaddyHoggy** » Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:48 am

@Drew - Have upgraded Foxit and it seems to have settled down.

What's OO3 like - I'm still on 2.3 (came with Ubuntu 7.10 - and I've yet to upgrade to 8.04 - if it ain't broke don't fix it, is my philosophy)

drew · Post by **drew** » Sat Oct 18, 2008 12:30 pm

DaddyHoggy wrote:
@Drew - Have upgraded Foxit and it seems to have settled down.

What's OO3 like - I'm still on 2.3 (came with Ubuntu 7.10 - and I've yet to upgrade to 8.04 - if it ain't broke don't fix it, is my philosophy)

OO3 is good. Nice upgrade from 2.4 I was using before. Biggest things for me are that the 'notes' and 'track changes' work exactly as they do in Word. UI is better too, more modern looking without going Word 2007...

Worth the upgrade I would say. On Ubuntu you won't get it automatically, if you want it you'll have to uninstall the repo version and download/install OO3 manually...

Cheers,

Drew.

Star Gazer · Post by **Star Gazer** » Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:07 pm

Another great chapter!

Page 2 - Line 25 - "No you listen!..." should be "No, you listen!..."
Page 2 - Line 29 - "...have no idea what it's like do you...!" should be "...have no idea what it's like, do you...!"
Page 3 - Line 39 - "...do, oh wise one?" should be "...do, o wise one?"
Page 7 - Line 19 - "It's one the reasons I've..." should be "It's one of the reasons I've..."
Page 8 - Line 1 - "...fly a Python though" should be "...fly a Python through"

Website · Post by **DaddyHoggy** » Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:04 pm

Funny (as in odd) the different things each of us picks up on - and yet so many the same!

drew · Post by **drew** » Sun Oct 19, 2008 7:52 am

That's the benefit of open source production...!

All changes incorporated and uploaded!

Cheers,

Drew.

ClymAngus · Post by **ClymAngus** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:40 pm

Are you an Ian Flemming fan by any chance?

drew · Post by **drew** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 6:22 pm

ClymAngus wrote:
Are you an Ian Flemming fan by any chance?

I've read chitty chitty bang bang (the original) to the kids, but that's about it. Not really a 'Bond' chap either.

Why do you ask?

Cheers,

Drew.

ClymAngus · Post by **ClymAngus** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:05 am

There's something fairly Bondesque about your bad guys, attention to detail, driven by a higher purpose, screaming arrogance.

drew · Post by **drew** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:21 am

Should have put a big fluffy white cat in there....

.... then again, I did have a great big fluffy grey cat in Chapter Three!

"You expect me to give you the location of Raxxla?"
"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die..."

Cheers,

Drew.