Oolite Darwin Awards

[Zireael]

Commander Mara is back after a long hibernation... The first second thing she did was ... on approach to Zaonce Iso... shoot at the station - her fingers slipped -

Wham. Press Space Commander
Harmless (0)

You can guess what rankles the most?

[Diziet Sma]

The first second thing she did was ... on approach to Zaonce Iso... shoot at the station - her fingers slipped -

Gimme a joystick any day.. whoever put the fire button next to the throttle on the keyboard should be made to spacewalk without a suit.

[Tricky]

The first second thing she did was ... on approach to Zaonce Iso... shoot at the station - her fingers slipped -

Gimme a joystick any day.. whoever put the fire button next to the throttle on the keyboard should be made to spacewalk without a suit.

1. Learn to lock down your weapons when not needed.
2. Train yourself to place your 3rd finger over the Q key when fire is not needed.

[SirArian]

So, Spara pointed out this thread to me... I have a few particularly stupid mistakes to share, if anyone is interested in reading them.
I was playing v1.65 (the one from the Ubuntu software repository) as a UTHA escort. I think it was a Monitor that I was escorting, but that isn't really important. I was relatively new to the game at the time, and had not yet used the Energy Bomb. It said "destroys all small ships in scanner range", so I figured that was what it would do. Well, we're flying along and get attacked by a group of small pirates. We engage, but before long I am nearly dead, so, wanting to get back to the station as soon as possible... *TAB* "Where'd the Monitor go?"

Time passes. I am trading in some system or another. Launch from the station, and fly toward the planet. Get landing clearance, then start toward the planet at 0.03 LM ish. Press f8 and look through the station prices, so I can tell if I can get a good deal on some cargo to sell at the main station, and, all of a sudden...

Press space, Commander

Apparently you have to pay attention while landing planetside.

The are sure to be more soon... Those are just the ones I remember at the moment.

[SteveKing]

You know when you are 'moderately' speeding towards the docking bay, are nice and lined up and rotating your way to a well earned reidquat brandy after after a bit of action in the spacelanes thinking to yourself, 'there's no-one around I'll just slip in quick,' only to be faced with the nose of a python who went through the proper channels requesting exit permission... ooops

[Diziet Sma]

<chuckles>

Aye.. that's one I'm sure we can all relate to..

[SARR]

<chuckles>

Aye.. that's one I'm sure we can all relate to..

how true......here is one from me:

I made some good profit doing in system trading (and therefore could not safe for a couple of minutes). Checked in at the space bar, sold my stuff, bought some 60t of narcotics and left for the main station, where I wanted to sell them with a proftit of almost 90cr/ton . At the main station I wanted to safe too......so far so good.....after leaving the bar I immediately hit the injectors and made a smooth left hand turn to align with the main station according with my space compass.............well good plan, but I didn´t see that big asteriod right in my way and "wahmmmmm" slammed right into it .........I almost bit into my joystick, but I learned to always look at my scanner

greez sarr

[Diziet Sma]

Well done.. after 14 pages, it's not often we get treated to a new way of killing oneself.. congratulations on finding yet another method for exiting the gene-pool.

[Agis Silverfish]

It was my first escort mission and I chose an easy journey to Leesti. I wanted to make a good impression so I decided I would stay very close to Mother. Very, very close. So I crashed into her. She got killed by her own escort just seconds into the Leesti system.

While writing this I was approaching a buoy at full speed. I pressed "S" to slow down but I hadn't clicked into the window. Press Space Commander.

[SirArian]

That first one is a little bit like one of mine... Except mine was closer to the planet and cost 1000 Cr...

[iperich]

I was docked in the planet station when suddenly an alarm sounded with a message about a large asteroid coming in collision course with the station. The called all brave and intelligent pilots to help destroy the freaking asteroid. So I responded the call getting in my ship and going out to defend the station among others, decided to be the hero of the day.

I got quickly to the asteroid, tried to blast it with my lasers, but it was so big. Everybody was shooting. In desperation, I fired a missile, then another, then another, then an... wait.... what the....

oh oh......

I ran like hell and my accidentaly fired quirium bomb exploded, destroying completely the asteroid, the planet station and a lot of defenders.

The survivors decided to kill me very quickly.

They did, of course.

[Diziet Sma]

Oh man.. that was a good one!

I laughed 'til I choked..

[Norby]

my accidentaly fired quirium bomb exploded

A [wiki]SafetyCatch[/wiki] is handy to prevent this.

[ffutures]

Hey, this is a great thread.

Couldnt sleep the other night so read these stories instead, thought I'd add my tale of woe.

I'd taken on my first Galactic Navy mission from the OXP of the same name, and after several attempts, eventually destroyed the pirate base and eliminated all the pirates, with a couple of comrades remaining alive after the battle. I'd racked up an impressive number of kills not to mention bounties. However I'd used up all my fuel so was on the long slog back to the planet for a refuel.

a couple of Km front of me, hanging there in space was a jellyfish. Strange place I thought for a jelly fish to be. Then I remembered some OXP I'd installed called 'space jelly' or somesuch.. I wonder what happens if I shoot it, I thought....

I doubt the Galactic Navy mourned my loss!

I really wish I'd read this thread before installing that OXP... just made the same discovery, annoyingly at the end of a VERY profitable flight that took in two wormholes so there was no way I could repeat it.

Now wondering if they can be mined for useful materials in some way...

[ffutures]

Okay, I have to admit I thought of trying this the second I ran into jellyfish, can't believe it actually worked:

Today I ran into a big pirate pack shortly after spotting a jellyfish, and with very little fuel left. So I fled in the direction of the jellyfish as fast as I could without using the injectors, maneuvered to so that the pirates following me were going to go close as possible to the jellyfish, then flambeed it and hit the injectors as they were at their closest, had just enough fuel to get clear. I think two out of a dozen or so escaped.

No loot, but VERY satisfying...